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“Im garten der liebe, da welken die rosen,
Es fliehen, es flattern zu anderem ort
Die lustigen voglein und falter, die losen,
Denn die Minne, die goldene Minne, zieht fort.
Und kalt wird dein herz, das voreinsten so glühte,
Und trübe der augen hellstrahlendes paar;
Und blass wird die lippe, die purpurn einst blühte,
Und silbern—und silbern dein goldenes haar.”
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THE detached extracts given at the close of the last chapter are mostly from the letters of 1816 and 1817, and reflect the state of mind also expressed in “Manfred,” for comparison with which the dates are unnecessary.
There is, however, another letter written in a similar spirit two years later, which is so important both in itself and on account of the subsequent correspondence which it occasioned between Mrs. Leigh and Lady Byron, that it must be given in extenso:
I have been negligent in not writing, but what can I say Three years absence—& the total change of
1 [Nearly all Byron’s letters to Mrs. Leigh of this period are thus addressed.] |
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| ASTARTE |
But I have never ceased nor can cease to feel for a moment that perfect & boundless attachment which bound & binds me to you—which renders me utterly incapable of real love for any other human being—for what could they be to me after you? My own xxxx2 we may have been very wrong—but I repent of nothing except that cursed marriage—& your refusing to continue to love me as you had loved me—I can neither forget nor quite forgive you for that precious piece of reformation.—but I can never be other than I have been—and whenever I love anything it is because it reminds me in some way or other of yourself—for instance I not long ago attached myself to a Venetian for no earthly reason (although a pretty woman) but because she was called xxxx2 and she often remarked (without knowing the reason) how fond I was of the name.—It is heart-breaking to think of our long Separation—and I am sure more than punishment enough for all our sins—Dante is more humane in his “Hell” for he places his unfortunate lovers (Francesca of Rimini & Paolo whose case fell a good deal short of ours—though sufficiently naughty) in company—and though they suffer—it is at least together.—If ever I return to England—it will be to see you—and recollect that in all time—& place—and feelings—I have never ceased to be the same to you in heart—Circumstances may have ruffled my manner—& hardened my spirit—you may have seen me harsh & exasperated with all things around me; grieved & tortured with your new resolution,—& the soon after persecution of that infamous fiend who drove me from my Country & conspired against my life—by endeavouring to deprive me of all that could render it precious—but remember that even then you were the sole object that cost me a tear? and what tears! do you remember our parting? I have not spirits now
1 [This is misprinted “never” in original edition.] 2 Short name of three or four letters obliterated. |
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
I have been pining for a letter from you—& am afraid I should not have left you in peace so long—had I not heard thro Mrs G V— that you had arrived safe & well—I am glad you found your Mother improving in health—& that ye place agrees with you—but you tell me not a word in particular of your own health & whethre you have tried ye Waters—I am pleased that Ada has been so with Noah &c.
As for Mazeppa & Appendages I am all astonishment not knowing it was out—what are the Appendages my dear A? not the Don I hope—I think I shall never read another of those performances,—I have just got Mrs Hoares Book which I mean to study & the new Tales are awaiting my leisure or my inclination to read Some way or other I have not had energy of mind or body for any
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| ASTARTE |
I felt greatly annoyed at not seeing you again alone—before you left [London], as I had made up my mind to what I am now doing—tho’ I am not clear I may be acting right, & it has been made and unmade on the subject 20 times—Yet I can safely affirm not on my own acct have I doubted—I really must enclose ye last letter I spoke to you of—for I have endeavoured in vain, in thought & deed to reply to it—I am so afraid of saying what might do harm—or omitting any possible good—burn it—& tell me you have & answer me as soon as you can—I shall be anxious—& my unusually long silence may cause agitation—which I always avoid—in short he is surely to be considered a Maniac—I do not believe any feelings expressed are by any means permanent—only occasioned by ye passing & present reflection & occupation of writing to the unfortunate Being to whom they are addressed—
pray pardon me if you think me wrong—for I do not mean it to be so—tho I am convinced there are many wd condemn the act as an insult but it is yr advice & superior judgment that is wished for. Independent of this misery I have plenty of Home ones—but I will not worry you dear A—The Babes are well. I am hurried for post having unexpectedly got this frank1 & being anxious not to delay—God bless you ever & ever
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1 From Lord Chichester, see superscription. |
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
It is impossible that I could mistake your motives for sending me the enclosed letter—As it opens nothing new to me in regard to the writer’s mind, it gives me no other pain than what arises from feeling for your grief in receiving a fresh proof of the continuance of that passion which you most wish to be extinguished. I have looked anxiously for such appearances of incoherency as could justify your idea of its being mere raving. Incapable as he is of the true attachment, which is devoted to the welfare of its object, I have before observed to you that in the intervals of every pursuit which engaged him by its novelty, this most dreadful fever of the heart has returned—In such cases, unless a purifying repentance has taken place there can be no medium between aversion & love—This well known fact in the nature of man—should form a ground of conduct—You have indeed made it so by avoiding every expression that could encourage tenderness—& this letter is an ample testimony of your having done so, as well as of the prior “reformation” which was sufficiently evidenced to me by your own assertion & the agreement of circumstances with it—But in case of a more unequivocal disclosure on his part than has yet been made, this letter would confute those false accusations—to which you would undoubtedly be subjected from others—Still I am aware of the danger of not burning it. I however prefer returning it to you—and I shall not enclose, that there may be more perfect security of its delivery.
But in regard to your conduct—There appear to me to be but two ways of proceeding which are at all reconcileable with those principles by which you are governed—
The first alternative is to reply that after so unequivocal a proof that the idea of you was associated with the most guilty feelings, you considered it your duty to break
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| ASTARTE |
The other alternative is—to take no notice of having received the letter—for if you notice it at all, it must be in my opinion in such terms as above—but to continue the correspondence in the same style of guarded propriety which seems to [have] piqued him to make this impassioned, tho as appears to me, artfully studied address, to recover his ascendancy—
Considering you as an individual, I should not hesitate to say that the first was absolutely incumbent upon you—Considering you with reference to your domestic ties, the determination of the question must be influenced by your opinion of the probable consequences—If I felt that I could calculate them with confidence, I would not shrink from the responsibility of advising you—but I cannot—Indeed I fear that he will nor let you rest till he has done you the greatest temporal injury—& that you can only avert it a little longer by any mode of conduct—I wish with all my heart that I could express more consolatory opinions—but your consolations must come from a different source—and I trust they will encrease with your trials—
I will write to you about myself soon—and tell me what you do—tho’ I feel sure that the gentler expedient will appear to you the best. We must act consistently with our own opinions, not with those even of the persons we most esteem—if we would secure the peace of retrospect—Endeavour to clear your ideas as to what your relative duties require, act according to the best conclusions you can form, and then rest in the feeling that “duties are ours—events are God’s”—
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
Your letter &c has arrived safely my dearest A & a million of thanks for yr kindness—Decision was never my forte in any circumstances—& God knows in such as ye present, ye difficulty I feel & shall feel—yet—one ought to act (as far as one can) right & leave the issue to Providence.—
I will tell you what now passes in my mind. As to the gentler expedient you propose, I certainly lean to it—as the least offensive—but—supposing he suspects the motive & is piqued to answer, “I wrote you such a letter of such a date? Did you receive it?” What then is to be done—I could not reply falsely—& might not that line of conduct acknowledged—irritate? This consideration wd lead me perhaps—preferably—to adopt the other—as most open & honest—(certainly to any other Character but his—) but, query whether it might not be most judicious as to its effects—and at the same time acknowledging that his Victim was wholly in his power, as to temporal good & leaving it to his generosity whether to use that power—if not dead to every Spark of good feeling—or not partially insane—I think—I cannot but think—it might be best—but to determine those questions is difficult—in either case to be acting right would be one’s consolation.
There seem so many reasons why he should for his own sake abstain for the present from gratifying his revenge that one can scarcely think he would do so—unless insane—it wd surely be ruin to all his prospects—& those of a pecuniary nature are not indifferent—if others are become so—
if really & truly he feels or fancies he feels—that
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| ASTARTE |
After all my dearest A— if you cannot calculate the probable consequences, how should I presume to do so! To be sure the gentler expedient, might be ye safest—with so violent & irritable a disposition & at least for a time act as a palliative—& who knows what changes a little time might produce or how Providence might graciously interpose—with so many reasons to wish to avoid extremities (I mean for ye sake of others) one leans to what appears the safest & one is a Coward—
But the other at the same time has something gratifying to one’s feelings—& I think might be said & done—so that, if he showed ye letters, it would be no evidence against the Person—& worded with that kindness, & appearance of real affecte concern for him as well as the other person concerned that it might possibly touch him. Pray—think of what I have thought & write me a line not to decide for that I cannot expect, but to tell me if I deceived myself in the ideas I have expressed to you—I shall not cannot answer till ye latest post day this week—
1000 thanks for yr hint about letters—I scarcely know whether to risk keeping that you saw—
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
Having a frank I write a line—I was in such a hurry yesterday having waited for M—all day—I’m afraid my letter may have appeared to you—as treating the subject too lightly—but indeed no one can be more fully aware of the Precipice on which I stand than I am—but situated as I am—I feel that—if once I gave way to despair I could never shake it off & should be unfitted for every thing—as this wd be adding to the evil, I do all I can to avoid it—& I hope it is not presumptuous to trust in that Power who alone can shield & protect—
I have not heard any more of what you apprehended—I own I cannot for ye present fear more than this detestable production the Poem—God bless you dearest A— & forgive my plaguing you so but I could not resist sending a line—pray write to yr affece & grateful
My dearest A—The enclosed1 came last night—& I fear looks too like certainty respecting the return—Anything you may wish to be said relative to the chief subject—pray address to me on a separate sheet—I am determined to give no opinions of mine—& wish the
1 [See Chap. XI., letter of Dec. 4.] |
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| ASTARTE |
Murray sent me a letter to him—of the same date as that I enclose—it was chiefly on ye subject of D. J.1 & an application to the Chancellor—about the publication of it by others—discussing this he says—to this effect—“You may do as you please but recollect if it is pronounced blasphemous or indecent, I shall lose all right of Guardianship &c &c (I forget the exact expressions) in yr education of my Daught”—& gives an instance of ye same in that infamous Mr Shelley’s case,—2 he then justly & handsomely enough says it is hard M—should pay for ye Poem—all things considered & that ye Money being untouched shall be his again—which I fear the latter will not listen to—The letter ends by saying his return to Eng—was unlooked for but he has given his reason in letters to his Sister & D. K.3—I tell you this (I mean about the Poem) as it may give you my guess of probabilities relative to Ada—My own opinion is he will be pretty quiet on her subject—
1 [“Don Juan.”] 2 Mrs. Leigh would not have claimed to have read or to understand “that infamous Mr. Shelley,” and merely repeated a phrase of Murrayish or some equally Bowdlerite origin; it certainly could not represent Lord Byron’s judgment. 3 [Douglas Kinnaird.] |
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
a letter of which this is the exact copy was delivered to Mrs Leigh by Miss Atkinson at my request Decr- 29th. 1819
Dearest A—As you seem to apprehend some insecurity from the ordinary means of communication, and I think myself called upon to speak openly, I will request Mrs Villiers to deliver this letter to you herself—I shall mention to her the prospect of B’s return, and leave you to consult her if you like to do so.—
On my own account, for my own sake individually, I am at present not very anxious—but for you, I feel the greatest solicitude, and I should reproach myself were I to shrink at this crisis from the declaration of any opinions by which you might be assisted to form your own determination.—
The reasons which a short time since induced you to
1 [Lady Caroline Lamb.] |
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| ASTARTE |
Since evils of such magnitude may be confidently anticipated from one course, let us weigh the consequences of the alternative, (which in principle is unobjectionable)—that is—of your communicating to him your determination not to associate with him in the existing circumstances.—His revenge must be directed either against your reputation or your pecuniary interests. I do not think that his worst attacks upon the former, when appearing to proceed from pique, would endanger it more than your personal intercourse—particularly whilst he obviously desires to bring you under his power by any means,—& you cannot suppose that the conduct which principle would dictate on your part, were you & he together, would incline him to forbear—With regard to your pecuniary interests, of which he so insultingly reminds you, as if you were to be bribed into wickedness,
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
Observe, I entreat you, that my sole wish is to place before you those considerations which appear to me most important, not to influence you by my authority or my wishes to adopt any course of the rectitude & propriety of which your own mind is not thoroughly convinced. I should most seriously regret so to influence you—for you would not act consistently, unless you acted from Conviction,—You would take half-measures, which must end in your ruin.—Anxious as I feel to support & comfort you in the recovered path of virtue, I could not hope to do so by an attempt to impose my own opinions—On the contrary I would as far as possible, remove every obstacle to independence of conduct on your part.
Consider then for yourself, whether it would be advisable to apprize him at Calais of the impossibility of your consenting to personal intercourse, after the letters which you had at different times received from him, &c.—and which had caused you to hesitate as to the propriety of continuing the correspondence—But, as I have before observed, I fully participate in your wish to consult his welfare in the present & the future, & should most warmly concur with you in any measures directed to those ends—
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[1 Lord Byron was known to have made his will in favour of Mrs. Leigh and her children.] |
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| ASTARTE |
My dearest A—Yr letter—thro Mrs V arrived today—her Governess brought it me—as she herself is not likely to be in Town for sometime—Altho’ ye change of circumstances makes the advice now unnecessary—the impression of your kindness remains—& ever will remain the same on my heart—I have not words to thank you—but I do hope that I do not may not appear ungrateful in yr Eyes—The time may come when ye same kind solicitude may be excited for me—& I can’t dearest A—help replying to your suggestions—Do you remember once before giving them & I told you, what I must again repeat & recall to you—that supposing me to feel like you on all the points you have touched—there is one which surely escaped you—supposing me to decide on not seeing him—what reasons could I give for it to my relations—friends—acquaintances but—most of all my Husband—I really cannot calculate all the consequences of that step as far as he is concerned—I think you agreed with me before—that this consideration rendered the step impossible—I assure you—all that you have said had passed already in my mind—My idea was this—if what you apprehend, came to pass, my conduct must have been—either this must cease—or our intercourse—& then had the latter been adopted—his caprice is so well known it (the estrangement) wd not have been thought so extraordinary as in the other case—at any rate the intercourse to have been as much restricted as possible—I am sure—at least I hope—you cannot think it could have afforded me any pleasure—& for my children I most perfectly agree with you it wd have been the least desirable upon earth—However I will honestly confess to you—I never have—I cannot now believe as you do in
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
I am sure you will not be angry with me for saying all I do & have & I only entreat you to reply to me—for very likely I may be wrong—but I have God knows! considered & reflected on probabilities since I have had this dreadful expectation—What a mercy it has ceased! My dear A do not you think it all very odd?—I have not had any letter but besides the message I enclosed you yesterday one thro’ D. K. this Evg to ye same effect—my own opinion is he will never come—or at least if ever—not for this long time—if his life is spared—I will not tire you—with more now—Pray do not hate me for what I have written & do answer me—for I scarcely ever feel
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| ASTARTE |
Dearest A—As I think the return, if it takes place, is likely to be sudden, and for that reason to preclude deliberation, it is certainly better that we should openly discuss the subject, previously, tho but for your request, I should have been reluctant on your account to resume it.
I was aware that in the letter sent through Mrs Villiers, I recapitulated some arguments which I had before urged to you, but I wished to present a full view of the case—You were mistaken, dear A—in supposing that I ever admitted the validity of any reasons in favor of personal intercourse, tho’ I was persuaded that you might be justified in not breaking off the correspondence—However it is well that you have enabled me to correct that error—I will distinctly consider your reasons for thinking that it would be “impossible” for you to decline seeing B—you state them to be these—
“1st that you could not allege any satisfactory reason for that conduct—To this I reply that since the publication of Manfred & Don Juan and the greater notoriety of their author’s character, consideration for the good of your children would be deemed a sufficient justification by those whose opinions have most weight in society—and I should think that Col: Leigh might be persuaded of this by others, if not entirely by yourself.
2ndly You still retain the hope of influencing him beneficially—What is the foundation for this hope?—Has it not been during the period of your associating with him that he has acted in a manner the most contrary, surely, to your views of what is for his welfare? Do not take upon yourself the responsibility of asserting that you have influence over him—The answer would be “How has it been used”?—I am very far from wishing to detach you from him in any way by which he could
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
3rdly You may say you “cannot believe in the depth & strength” of his wicked dispositions towards you “when there is nothing else”—Do you mean nothing else to prove them but his occasional letters? Is experience nothing? Did you not before indulge the delusion that he was not in earnest till it was fatally proved that he was?—“Angry with you” dear A—No—my feelings are very different—I deeply lament to think that you are still too much influenced by early prepossessions and by hopes which to me appear totally unfounded, and likely to lead into danger—I have no suspicions of your being actuated by mercenary views, but I think you ought not to reject, without good reason, any advantages offered to your children—
I do not consider you bound to me in any way. I told you what I knew, because I thought that measure would enable me to befriend you—and chiefly by representing the objections to a renewal of personal communication between you & him—On reference to the letters which you returned to me, and to some other memorandums, I find that I have taken every opportunity of doing this—& you have never before made your dissent intelligible to me—with such objects in view, I considered myself justified in departing from my declaration made when I told you my knowledge of former guilt that our intercourse must be limited.1—We must, according to your present intentions act independently of each other. On my part it will still be with every possible consideration for you & your children—and should I by your reception of him be obliged to relinquish my intercourse with you, I will do so in such manner as shall be least prejudicial
1 In the first draft of the letter the next sentence began: “If he returns, we must,” etc. |
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| ASTARTE |
Pray write to me at Mr Carr’s, Frognall, Hampstead. to let me know that you have received this letter and what your impressions are—I may have failed in expressing my deep interest in your happiness, but I trust that you will believe it.
I write a line to say that I received your letters safe—& as I hope to see you soon, I prefer replying to them de vive voix—
Thanks—for writing—as I was anxious to hear of your safety & yr cold—ye latter you do not mention
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| CORRESPONDENCE OF AUGUSTA BYRON |
I am glad you found Ada well & good—Do tell me for I had not time to ask you any thing—do you & yours still think of the Hampstead plan?—
George B. was much vexed at not seeing you—He went away Monday—I must say Good Night & God bless you dearest A—& pray write soon to your ever affecte & grateful
The preceding letters were very unsatisfactory to Lady Byron, who wrote to Mrs. Villiers (January 26th, 1820):
“I am reluctant to give you my impression of what has passed between Augusta and me respecting her conduct in case of his return—but I should like to know whether your unbiassed opinion formed from the statement of facts coincided with it.”
After this time there was much less concert between the two. They remained friends till 1829, when Mrs. Leigh would have insisted on nominating a trustee to
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| ASTARTE |
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