The horrible struggle of feeling I sought to forget in
every species of dissipation of mind, is over—friends, relatives,
country, all are now resigned, and I am yours for
ever—from this moment be it. The study of my life to deserve your love,
and to expiate those
| 494 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
I have gained my point in putting off our marriage for
three months, by which I have gratified the independent spirit of my character
in avoiding any addition of obligation to those on whom we are already too
dependant. I have satisfied the feelings of my heart by fulfilling the tender
duties they dictate, to my father and my family. I have obtained a more
thorough knowledge of your character from the development of your feelings in
your letters; and I have satisfied my woman’s delicacy, and the
bienséance of the world,
by avoiding the appearance of rashness in uniting myself for life to one whom I
knew but a month, which, had I listened to you, would have been the case. I
have now done with the little world, here, and shall go out no more; all that
remains of my absence from you must be exclusively devoted to my family. I have
informed them of my resolution with great firmness; it was received in silence
and in tears; but no opposition was made, the effort is over, and I think we
are all calmer, and even happier, than during the late interval of horrible
suspense. I will return to you soon after Christmas-day, as we can decide upon
a safe mode of travelling. Meantime, my heart and soul are with you, and as for
the little body, that will come soon enough. Every moment I can spare from
| BETWEEN CUP AND LIP. | 495 |
Here is one of my wife-like demands. Will you send to London for six yards of black velvet for me? Mrs. Morgan will get it, at Grafton House, for half-a-guinea a yard, and your friend of Pall Mall, will frank it over. This, dear, is no extravagance.
