DEAR Miss Kelly,—We had the pleasure, pain I might better call it, of seeing you last night in the new Play. It was a most consummate piece of Acting, but what a task for you to undergo! at a time when your heart is sore from real sorrow! it has given rise to a train of thinking, which I cannot suppress.
Would to God you were released from this way of life; that
you could bring your mind to consent to take your lot with us, and throw off
for ever the whole burden of your Profession. I neither expect or wish you to
take notice of this which I am writing, in your present over occupied &
hurried state.—But to think of it at your leisure. I have quite income enough,
if that were all, to justify for me making such a proposal, with what I may
call even a handsome provision for my survivor. What you possess of your own
would naturally be appropriated to those, for whose sakes chiefly you have made
so many hard sacrifices. I am not so foolish as not to know that I am a most
unworthy match for such a one as you, but you have for years been a principal
object in my mind. In many a sweet assumed character I have learned to love
you, but simply as F. M. Kelly I love
you better than them all. Can you quit these shadows of existence, & come
& be a reality to us? can you leave off harassing yourself to please a
thankless multitude,
| 528 | LETTERS OF C. AND M. LAMB | July |
As plainly & frankly as I have seen you give or refuse assent in some feigned scene, so frankly do me the justice to answer me. It is impossible I should feel injured or aggrieved by your telling me at once, that the proposal does not suit you. It is impossible that I should ever think of molesting you with idle importunity and persecution after your mind [was] once firmly spoken—but happier, far happier, could I have leave to hope a time might come, when our friends might be your friends; our interests yours; our book-knowledge, if in that inconsiderable particular we have any little advantage, might impart something to you, which you would every day have it in your power ten thousand fold to repay by the added cheerfulness and joy which you could not fail to bring as a dowry into whatever family should have the honor and happiness of receiving you, the most welcome accession that could be made to it.
In haste, but with entire respect & deepest affection, I subscribe myself
