Lady Morgan’s Memoirs
Chapter XX
CHAPTER XX.
STILL A GOVERNESS.
The two letters which follow would appear to have been written
by Miss Owenson to Mrs.
Lefanu, but there is no address upon them. The other letters had their
proper addresses.
January 12th, 1803.
“L’union de
l’esprit et du corps est en effet si forte qu’on a de
la peine a concevoir que l’on puisse agir sans que
l’autre se ressente plus aux mains de son
action” says Monsieur Tissot; and when you tell me you write under the
influence of five weeks’ disorder, and yet send me a letter full of wit,
sentiment, and imagination, I really know not whether to believe you or
Monsieur Tissot; he has proved the sympathy of the
soul and body in theory, but you practically prove there exists no inseparable
connexion between them, and that the debility of the frame has no influence
over the “strength of spirit.” The fact is, I am tempted to wonder
(like an old general on the eve of a great battle to a mili-
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tary invalid), how you
dare be sick? Had I your mind
and imagination I should set the whole College of Physicians at defiance. And,
as it is, though gifted with a very small portion of the
vivida vis anima! (smile at my Latin), I
am pretty well enabled to keep the reins of health in my own hands. In the
first place I have got possession of the “
citadel the
heart,” and command its
pulsations,
fibres, nerves, &c., with the unlimited power of a field-marshal. Thus,
having subjugated my
constitutional forces, I play them
off as I please. When my pulse grows languid, and the heaviness of approaching
sickness seizes on me, I immediately set fancy to work, seize the pen, and mock
the spirit of poetry; then the eye rolls, the pulses throb, the blood
circulates freely in every vein—my poem is finished—I am well. Or
should a fever seize my absorbing spirits—memory and hope thrill every
nerve—call up the forms of joys elapsed, or paint the welcome semblance
of joys anticipated; then the heart beats cheerily, and recruits every artery
with new tides of health. Well!
Vive le
galimatias! for when it dies, my epistolary talent dies
with it, and common sense may sing a
jubilate as a
requiem.
Seriously though. Do you know I never was
seriously ill. But the day I dined with you I was
struggling hard with a cold—an influenza—and you might have
perceived a fever burning in my cheek, that seized me beyond the power of
fancy to dispel it on my return home. I must have
appeared, therefore, to you very different from the thing I
am,—“sober, demure, and steadfast.” I suppose I
looked the personification of
authorship or
jeune savante, when, had I been myself, I
should have romped with your boys, coquetted with your husband, and, probably,
procured my
lettre de cachet from
yourself as a nuisance to all decorous society. Am I indeed of the age and mind
to admire the splendid rather than the awful virtues? I am, at all events, glad
to find you believe I do
admire virtue of whatever
species or description, for I have been so long attempting to make the
“worse appear the better reason,” and pleading so
strenuously for the errors of superior talent, that I began to fear you put me
down as the
decided apologist of the vices of genius;
but I know, had I taken up the right side of the question, there would have
been an end of the argument, and I should have lost some of the most delightful
passages in your delightful letters. However, the best reason I know of the
great soul being more liable to err than the little one,
is that given by
Mr. Addison.
“We may generally discover,” says he, “a pretty
nice proportion between the strength, and reason, and passion in the
greatest geniuses, they having the strongest affections; as on the other
hand, the weaker understandings have the weaker passions.” So
poor
genius mounted on his high-mettled racer, with no
more power to check his pranks and curvettings, than is given to the
leaden-headed dulness to guide
his sorry jade (who sets
off at a tangent), suffers thrice the concussion, if the zigzag caprices of his
courser do not even force him to lose his equilibrium.
I entirely agree with you that some
women, in attaining that intellectual acquisition which excite ad-
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miration and even reverence, forfeit their (oh! how much
more valuable) claims on the affections of the
heart,
the
dearest, proudest immunity nature has endowed her
daughter with—the precious immunity which gives them
empire over empire, and renders them sovereigns over the
world’s
lords. I must tell you, my dear madam, I
am
ambitious, far, far beyond the line of laudable
emulations, perhaps beyond the power of being happy. Yet
the strongest point of my ambition is to be
every inch a
woman. Delighted with the pages of
La Voisine, I dropped the study of chemistry,
though urged to it by a favourite friend and preceptor, lest I should be less
the
woman. Seduced by taste, and a thousand arguments,
to Greek and Latin, I resisted, lest I should not be a
very
woman. And I have studied music rather as a sentiment than a science,
and
drawing as an amusement rather than an art, lest I
should have become a musical
pedant or a
masculine artist. And let me assure you, that if I
admire you for any one thing more than another, it is that, with all your
talent and information you are “a woman still.” I have said thus
much to convince you that I agree,
perfectly agree with
you, in all you have said on the subject, and that when
Rousseau insists on
le cosur aimant of Julie, he endows her with the best
and most endearing attribute woman can possess. Am I to thank you or your
Tom for the trouble he has had with
my commission?
Castle Hyde I
am not a little anxious about, since I have taken the liberty of dedicating it
to you, as I dedicated
Ned of the
Hills to
Lady
Clonbrock—
the two friends whose tastes
I most admire and revere. It is but just
Castle Hyde should be all your own, since your approbation
gave it a new value in my opinion, and tempted me to its publication. Have you,
indeed, read
St.
Clair a third time? You have touched me where I am most
vulnerable. I cannot conceive how you can think my hero and heroine dangerous;
to have rendered them such I must have been myself not a little so; yet you
know long since I am the most harmless of all human beings. There is a young
man of some talent here, who has done a hundred profiles of me; one of them was
so strong a likeness,
I am
strongly tempted to enclose it you.
L’amour propre aime les portraits. The vanity of
my intentions struck me so forcibly that I determined to expiate my crime by
confessing it
to her against whom it was meditated, and
I sent the profile to a poor partial friend who will think more of it than the
original itself deserves; but friendship can be
un
peu aveugle as well as
love.
My sister begs leave to return her acknowledgements for
your polite inquiries, and the sympathy you expressed as to the nature of her
disorder. She is now perfectly recovered, and very busy tuning the pianoforte by my side.
My father is so proud of the recollections you sometimes
honour him with in your letters, that though they were not made, I should
invent them for the sake of affording him ideal satisfaction. If I had given
him leave, he would himself have assured you of his gratitude. S. O.
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My dear Madam,
I took the liberty of tormenting you with a long and
nonsensical letter some time back, which I was in hopes would have procured me
the favour of an answer; for it is so long since I had the pleasure of hearing
from you, that I began to fear I had either unconsciously forfeited your
friendship, or that you found me a troublesome correspondent. I hope that has
not been the cause of your silence, for I really know not whether I should feel
most at losing your friendship, or your losing your health—a most
unpleasant alternative. But one line from you will be sufficient to obviate my
suspicions, or subdue my fears. As I found that these good folks were
determined on going for life to Castle-tumble-Down, and as I never had a very strong propensity for
the society of crows, who have established a very
flourishing colony in the battlements and woods in Court Jordan, I gave in my
resignation last week. But, seriously, I do not think I ever was more agitated
in my life. They made me every offer it was possible could tempt me to remain
with them, even till November, when Mrs. Crawford would
take me herself to town; and when they found me irrevocable in my decree, they
paid me the compliment of saying, they would not entrust their children to any
but one whom I approved. So that the choice of my successor depends entirely on
myself. I shall be in Dublin about the 27th, I believe; will it be taking too
great an advantage of your already experienced kindness to renew my claim on
the little hole
in the wall? If
not, or at any rate, will you have the goodness to let me know, by return,
whether it will be perfectly convenient to you to accede to my request, that I
may make some other provision. I shall stay but a day or two in town, as I am
extremely anxious to get home; my father has taken a nice little place about
two miles from the town of Strabane, and delightfully situated.
Olivia is well and happy, and desires to be
most affectionately remembered to my dear little friends, whenever I wrote to
them.
Adieu, dear madam; assure Mr. F—— of my best
wishes and respects, and all the dear young folk of my affection, and believe
me
Ever yours, most sincerely,
Mrs. Lefanu to Miss
Owenson.
Dublin,
April 22nd, 1803.
My dear Madam,
Illness has prevented my answering your letter; an
epidemic cold attended with fever has borne very hard upon my family. My eldest
son has been very near death, and I have been myself confined to my bed, and am
still obliged to keep the house, with the usual consolatory reflections that I
am no worse off than other people, &c., &c. If the miseries of others
were to render us satisfied with our own lot, no one would have a right to
complain. You remember La
234 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. | |
Fontaine says, “Et le
malheur des consolations sur croit
d’afflictions.” In real illness and sorrow one has
often occasion to think of that.
I shall be very glad to see you when you are in Dublin.
Two gentlemen of my acquaintance have added to my wish to know you, and yet
they certainly saw you in society unsuited to you, and which I am sure chance
alone could have thrown you into. My daughter has been taught music and still
continues to learn, but has not, I think, any decided taste or talent for
it—both my sons have; the eldest
son is a student in Trinity College, plays the harp finely and
is also an excellent performer on the pianoforte; for him I shall thank you for
the Irish air you mention. No music more than the Irish bears the stamp of
originality; none speak more to the affections; I think it possesses more
variety than the Scotch, and expresses more forcibly the gay and the tender.
Poor Charlotte Brooks, my friend and my
relation, assisted in making me in love with the Irish bards. I am sure you
know her beautiful translations of some of them. Carolan’s monody on the death of his wife, is truly
pathetic
Allow me to say I do not conceive your extreme modesty;
why should you not have supposed your charming little work worth dedicating to
any one. I think it would be a high compliment to
the taste of whoever could understand and appreciate it. Adieu, dear madam, I
am sick and sad, but hope to be neither by the time I have the pleasure of
seeing you.
I am, very much
Yours,
Miss Owenson to Miss M.
Featherstone.
Strabane,
June 15th, 1803.
I was on the point of sitting down to write to you, my
dear little friend, when I received your welcome letter. The cause of my
silence was this: anxious to discharge as much of my debt of obligation as was
dischargeable, I waited for a Mr. Steward who was going to
Dublin, and by whom I meant to send a letter to you, a drawing (which I did
since I came here) to mamma, and the money to papa he was kind enough to pay
for me; however, to my own little disappointment, my commissary is still
philandering in the streets of Strabane. So I am all this time lying under the
imputation of ingratitude and neglect. I hope, however, papa and mamma will add
to all I already owe, by believing that the kindness and friendly attention I
have received from them on every occasion when my interest or welfare has been
concerned, is deeply felt and must always be gratefully acknowledged. My
father, thank Heaven! is quite recovered; but my poor Olivia had a relapse, and by going too lightly
clad at a party at a Dr.
——’s, has brought on a delicacy that has
terrified us with an apprehension of a consumptive habit,—she is but a
shadow of herself. The doctors have ordered perpetual exercise and goat’s
whey. We have got a gig, and mean next week to go and
visit the city of county Londonderry, so fa-
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mous in Irish
history; we shall spend a few days there; and on our return stop for a day at
the races of St. Johnston’s. A thousand times have I wished to have you
and —— here; amidst your level lawns and young plantations you have
no idea of the rude sublimity of our northern scenery. We have no farmers, so,
consequently, no tillage; all is bold, savage and romantic; the manners,
dialect, customs and religion of the people are all as purely Scotch as they
could be in the Highlands, even the better order of people are with difficulty
understood, and the manners of the inferior class are ferocious; there is,
however, a great spirit of independence among them; “every rood of ground
maintains its man,” and there are none of those wretched cabins which you
perpetually see in the other provinces. They call all strangers
foreigners or
Irish people, and
have not many ideas beyond their
wheels and
looms. A market day presents a curious scene. The young
women are all dressed in white, with their hair fastened up fancifully enough
and seldom covered. At the entrance of the town they bathe their feet and put
on shoes and stockings which are constantly taken off when they are leaving it.
I have frequently seen them with flowers and feathers in their heads and their
stockings tied up in a handkerchief. In a social sense they are most
unpleasant, and, upon the whole, they are the last people in the world that an
educated person would wish to spend their life with. We have been pretty
fortunate; the rector’s family of Raphoe (a little village near us) have
paid us every friendly attention, and we are
frequently
together; this, with a few of the military, make our little circle pleasant
enough. We have music every evening. I bought a very fine Spanish guitar from
the master of the band here. I have a great deal of music for it, and can
accompany myself on it almost as well as on the piano; at which I practice a
good deal. There is an excellent drawing-master here, from whom I have got some
beautiful drawings, so that I am in a fair way of improvement. I am sure you
will be glad to hear that I have got a price far beyond my most sanguine wishes
for
St.
Clair.
Mr. Harding, of
Pall Mall, says, it will be done in a very superior style, and will be
certainly at
Archer’s in three
weeks. Mrs. Colbert wrote to me about
Nina, but her terms were too low.
The Minstrel goes on famously, I
think you will like it best of all,—it is full of incidents. I was very
much flattered by the Doctor’s (the Knight’s I mean,) intention; I
do not know which of
St
Clair’s poems would answer for composition. I continue to
receive the most elegant letters in the world from
Mrs. Lefanu; her three children, herself and niece, have been
for seven weeks confined with a spotted fever. The
Crawfords are in great trouble about a
governess—they cannot get one to please them; they write to me in a
manner that seems to indicate their wish for my return,—but that is out
of the question. I intend to lie
fallow in the A, B, C,
D-way for some time. I am glad to hear that all your friends are well; pray
present my respectful compliments at Grange and Riverdale. Poor
Fanny, I am truly sorry for her! I wish she was
238 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. | |
with Mr. B. Tell C. that as she has
no opportunity of practising
French, I will write
constantly in French to her (provided she will answer me in the same language)
it will help her more than she can imagine. I shall be delighted to have it in
my power to be in any means instrumental to her improvement. Say everything
that is kind for me to papa and mamma; assure the dear boys that I participate
in their regret in our not meeting. Adieu, my dearest little friend, continue
to write to me, and believe that I am among the warmest of your well-wishers
and sincere friends,
Olivia returns a thousand thanks to
her dear little friend for her kind remembrance, although it was with
difficulty she got Syd to leave the room to tell her so. They wish to
persuade her she is ill, but she feels no kind of indisposition but what is
extremely becoming; she is sorry to add that her sister, from a too great
sensibility, lets the marriage of a certain little attorney prey on her damask cheek, adding paleness to what was
already pale. O.’s compliments to mamma.
To Mrs. Lefanu.
Strabane,
December 9th, 1803.
I read your little secret memoir with much the same
species of emotion as Uncle Toby listened
to
Trim’s account of Le Fevre, for more than once I wished I was
asleep.
You allude to the “imprudence of Ellen Maria Williams. Although I am perfectly
acquainted with her works, I know not anything of her history. May I hope in
your next for a little biographical sketch. Imprudence of conduct so frequently
connected with superiority of talent in woman, is, indeed, a solecism. Dare we
say with Burns, that “the light
which leads astray, is the light from
Heaven?” Salvater says, “the
primary matter of which woman is constituted is more flexible, irritable
and elastic than that of man;” added to this, their delicacy, the
ardour of their subtilized feelings, the warmth, the animated tenderness of
their affections; then, for a moment, conceive the influence of genius and
talent over this dangerous organization; conceive a flowing but dejected heart,
refined but desponding mind, escaping from the solitary state of isolation its
own superiority has plunged it in,—deceived by a gleam of sympathy, and
led “by passion’s meteor beam,” beyond the barrier
virtue has erected and which prudence never transgresses. Then, though we
lament, while we condemn, we almost cease to wonder. I had yesterday a letter
(four pages long) from Lady Clonbrock, with
an account of St.
Clair’s reception at Bath and Bristol. It is just
such as I knew you would wish for the bantling, who first sought protection and
countenance from yourself. I know you will smile at the vanity of this account;
but it set every particle of authorship afloat which had been for some time
grad-
240 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. | |
ually subsiding, Can you forgive me sending such a
letter of “shreds and patches,” to you as this? the truth is it has
been written by snatches,—sometimes with the “buzz and murmur of
those unfinished things one knows not what to call,” (who come in
droves to us every day) still sounding in my ears and dissipating every
propensity to common rationality; and sometimes by the side of an invalid
sister, who is paying the tribute of a rheumatic complaint for having too
closely adhered to the fashionable costume of the day; added to this, I began
my epistle in full dress, going to a party, that I continued it in
deshabillé, and literally concluded
en bonnet de nuit; and then,
if you consider (according to
Buffon)
that dress enters into the character, and becomes part of the individual
“man” (or woman), it will account for the
nuances de style of this letter, which by
fits is sad, and by starts is wild! Adieu, my dear madam, have the goodness
de faire mes amitiés to
your fireside circle. My father desires to be respectfully remembered, and I
request you to believe, I am yours most sincerely,
The commissions I troubled you with—were to
inquire at Archer’s if the
London edition of St. Clair was come over, and at Power’s music-shop, Westmorland
Street, if “Castle Hyde”* was
published. I shall watch the post,—so have mercy on me!
Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
English politician and man of letters, with his friend Richard Steele he edited
The Spectator (1711-12). He was the author of the tragedy
Cato (1713).
John Archer (d. 1811)
Dublin bookseller who traded at Dame Street, 1788-1809.
Charlotte Brooke (1740 c.-1793)
Daughter of the novelist Henry Brooke; a friend of the antiquary Joseph Cooper Walker,
she published
Reliques of Irish Poetry (1789) modelled on Thomas
Percy's collection.
Georges-Louis Leclerc, comte de Buffon (1707-1788)
French natural philosopher, author of
Histoire naturelle genéralé et
particulière (1749-1804) and an address to the French Academy,
Discours sur le style (1753).
Robert Burns (1759-1796)
Scottish poet and song collector; author of
Poems, chiefly in the
Scottish Dialect (1786).
Lady Olivia Clarke [née Owenson] (1785 c.-1845)
The younger sister of Lady Morgan who married Dublin physician Sir Arthur Clarke
(1778-1857) in 1808. She wrote songs and a play, and published in the
Metropolitan Magazine and
Athenaeum.
Edward Harding (1755-1840)
London engraver and bookseller who was Librarian to Queen Charlotte (1803) and the Duke
of Cumberland (1818-40).
Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695)
French poet whose
Fables were first translated into English in
1734.
Alicia Le Fanu (1753-1817)
Irish novelist and playwright, the eldest daughter of Thomas Sheridan and grandmother of
Sheridan Le Fanu; she published
Memoirs of the Life and Writings of Mrs.
Frances Sheridan (1824).
Thomas Philip Le Fanu (1784-1845)
The son of Joseph and Alicia Le Fanu; he was educated at Trinity College, Dublin, and was
Dean of Emly.
Robert Nugent Owenson (1744-1812)
Originally MacOwen; Irish actor who performed in London (where he was a friend of Oliver
Goldsmith) and founded theaters in Galway and London; he was the father of Lady
Morgan.
James Power (1766-1836)
Dublin music publisher who moved to London in 1807 where he issued Moore's
Irish Melodies (1808-34).
Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)
Swiss-born man of letters; author of, among others,
Julie ou la
Nouvelle Heloïse (1761),
Émile (1762) and
Les Confessions (1782).
Pierre François Tissot (1768-1854)
French poet, man of letters, and liberal politician; he taught at the Collège de
France.
Helen Maria Williams (1761-1827)
English poet, novelist, and miscellaneous writer who resided in France after 1788; she
published
Letters from France (1790-96).