Lady Morgan’s Memoirs
        Thomas Wallace to Sydeny Owenson, [1810?]
        
        
          
        
        
          
        
       
      
      
      
      
     
     
    
     [No date.] 
    
     I cannot tell you, my sweet friend, how much pleasure
                                    your letter has given me! not because you have been panegyrizing me to your
                                    great friends,—nor because I have any, the most remote fancy, that those
                                    panegyrics can ultimately produce benefits to your friend; but because the
                                    unsought, disinterested, spontaneous testimonies of friendship, are with me
                                    above all value! Even if they were not rare they would be precious,—but
                                    when one who has seen as much of mankind as myself, and knows, au fond, how seldom a heart or a head can
                                    be found that is not exclusively occupied with its own cares, or pleasures, or
                                    interests; when such a one meets an instance of gratuitous and friendly
                                    solicitude about the interests or reputation of an absent connection, he gets a
                                    new consciousness of the value of his existence, by finding there is something
                                    in his species better than he expected. I profess to you
                                    to feel a sentiment of that kind from this last instance of your recollection
                                    of me; for I am so far a misanthrope, that I should not have been much
                                    surprised if a volatile little girl like yourself, fond
                                    of the pleasure and of the admiration of society, should have forgotten such a
                                    thing as myself, when immersed in the various enjoyments
                                    of such a circle as you are now surrounded by; not that I doubted you had
                                    friendship for me,—for of that I would have been ![]()
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![]() certain; but I would have been easily persuaded that present
                                        pleasure might, for a time, have superseded memory, and postponed a recollection of distant friends and past scenes till a more
                                    convenient season. I confess, however, my sweet friend, that I entertained some
                                    fear that your zeal may have carried you a little too far in the conversation
                                    you mention; for anything in the way of solicitation or
                                        canvass would certainly, my dear Sydney, be to me one of the most mortifying things
                                    on earth; it would be at war with all my feelings and outrage all my
                                    principles; for there is but one thing in this world of which I can be
                                    vain—and it is a source of pleasure which nothing would induce me to
                                    forego—a consciousness that whatever I am, or
                                    whatever little success I may have in life, it is the pure and unmixed result
                                    of my own labours, uncherished and unpatronised. One
                                    instance only occurred in the course of my life, in which any attempt was made
                                    to promote my interests by the solicitation of friendship, and that became a
                                    source of great vexation to me,—it was that Mr. C. adverted to when he spoke of Ponsonby. Grattan,
                                    meaning to do a kind thing for me without my knowledge, applied to T. when he
                                    became Chancellor for a silk gown for me, and having got what he considered an
                                    explicit promise, he then mentioned the thing publicly, and it was known to
                                    half the profession before I heard of it. T. afterwards falsified his
                                    promise—by pretending that the promise was not for the next creation of
                                    king’s counsel, but for the next but one. The consequence was the open
                                    declaration of war I made upon him—which most probably will for ever
                                    prevent
                                    certain; but I would have been easily persuaded that present
                                        pleasure might, for a time, have superseded memory, and postponed a recollection of distant friends and past scenes till a more
                                    convenient season. I confess, however, my sweet friend, that I entertained some
                                    fear that your zeal may have carried you a little too far in the conversation
                                    you mention; for anything in the way of solicitation or
                                        canvass would certainly, my dear Sydney, be to me one of the most mortifying things
                                    on earth; it would be at war with all my feelings and outrage all my
                                    principles; for there is but one thing in this world of which I can be
                                    vain—and it is a source of pleasure which nothing would induce me to
                                    forego—a consciousness that whatever I am, or
                                    whatever little success I may have in life, it is the pure and unmixed result
                                    of my own labours, uncherished and unpatronised. One
                                    instance only occurred in the course of my life, in which any attempt was made
                                    to promote my interests by the solicitation of friendship, and that became a
                                    source of great vexation to me,—it was that Mr. C. adverted to when he spoke of Ponsonby. Grattan,
                                    meaning to do a kind thing for me without my knowledge, applied to T. when he
                                    became Chancellor for a silk gown for me, and having got what he considered an
                                    explicit promise, he then mentioned the thing publicly, and it was known to
                                    half the profession before I heard of it. T. afterwards falsified his
                                    promise—by pretending that the promise was not for the next creation of
                                    king’s counsel, but for the next but one. The consequence was the open
                                    declaration of war I made upon him—which most probably will for ever
                                    prevent ![]()
![]() me and Chancellors from being very good friends;
                                    for those fellows, like other classes of men, have a certain esprit de corps, and make common cause. Speak of me, therefore, dear
                                        Sydney, as your friend as much
                                    as you please, praise me in that character as far as you
                                    can, and you confer an honour on me of which I shall ever be most proud; but
                                    beware, my sweet girl, of patronage or solicitation.
                                    Here has been twenty times too much of myself; but you have made the subject
                                    valuable by the attention you have paid to it.
 me and Chancellors from being very good friends;
                                    for those fellows, like other classes of men, have a certain esprit de corps, and make common cause. Speak of me, therefore, dear
                                        Sydney, as your friend as much
                                    as you please, praise me in that character as far as you
                                    can, and you confer an honour on me of which I shall ever be most proud; but
                                    beware, my sweet girl, of patronage or solicitation.
                                    Here has been twenty times too much of myself; but you have made the subject
                                    valuable by the attention you have paid to it. 
    
     What is the meaning of your question, “What are you
                                    to do with the rest of your life?” Can it be possible that a mind like
                                    yours should prove itself so feeble, that the passing enjoyments of a few
                                    months in “splendour and comfort” would disgust you with the
                                    ordinary habits of the world? This would be neither reason, nor philosophy, nor
                                    good taste; for good taste is good sense directed in a particular way; and good
                                    sense has a very assimilating quality and always fits us
                                    for “existing circumstances.” I do hope,
                                    notwithstanding the horror with which you seem to look at your descent from the pedestal, that you will be capable of
                                    enjoying the circumscribed, social, laughing, wise, foolish, playful little
                                    suppers which Mrs. * * * has given us, and, I hope, will again. By the way,
                                    when will you return? Mrs. Lefanu told
                                    me, on Saturday, you mentioned to her that you would be here in a fortnight and
                                    go back; and yet Mrs. C. knows nothing of it—nor I. I cannot help recurring again to your question,
                                        What will you do with the rest of life? I put the
                                    interrogatory to myself when I read your ![]()
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![]() letter,—indeed, I have often asked myself the
                                    question—and what do you think I am likely to do? Most probably I shall
                                    retire to some very remote spot, where a small income will be an
                                    independence—and what then?  J. W.
 letter,—indeed, I have often asked myself the
                                    question—and what do you think I am likely to do? Most probably I shall
                                    retire to some very remote spot, where a small income will be an
                                    independence—and what then?  J. W. 
    
    John Philpot Curran  (1750-1817)  
                  Irish statesman and orator; as a Whig MP (from 1783) he defended the United Irishmen in
                        Parliament (1798).
               
 
    Henry Grattan  (1746-1820)  
                  Irish statesman and patriot; as MP for Dublin he supported Catholic emancipation and
                        opposed the Union.
               
 
    Alicia Le Fanu  (1753-1817)  
                  Irish novelist and playwright, the eldest daughter of Thomas Sheridan and grandmother of
                        Sheridan Le Fanu; she published 
Memoirs of the Life and Writings of Mrs.
                            Frances Sheridan (1824).
               
 
    
    George Ponsonby  (1755-1817)  
                  The son of John Ponsonby (d. 1787); he was speaker of the Irish House of Commons, lord
                        chancellor of Ireland in the Fox-Grenville ministry (1806) and succeeded Lord Grey as
                        leader of the Whigs in the British House of Commons.