“You will have guessed why I have not written: to say any thing about a painful subject is painful; I do not love to write concerning what I never mention. I am very well, very cheerful, and very actively employed; and yet, with all this, hæret lateri. . . . .
“You asked me some questions about the Bibliotheca. Longman wrote to me to postpone it, he being infected with the universal panic. I was no ways averse to the delay of the scheme—the discontinuance being optional with me. In truth, I have plans enough without it, and begin to think that my day’s work is already sufficiently cut out for me. I am preparing Madoc for publication, and have so far advanced in the correction as to resolve upon trying my fortune at a subscription. I will print it for a guinea, in one quarto, if possible at that price; if not, in three small volumes. I will not print my intention till the success of a subscription has been tried privately; that is, without being published; because if it fails, I can better go to a bookseller. If you can procure me some names, do; but never make yourself uncomfortable by asking. Of course, no money till the delivery of the book.
“It is now fifteen years since the subject first came into my occiput,—and I believe Wynn was made
234 | LIFE AND CORRESPONDENCE | Ætat. 29. |
“I am growing old, Bedford; not so much by the family bible, as by all external and outward symptoms: the grey hairs have made their appearance; my eyes are wearing out; my shoes, the very cut of my father’s, at which I used to laugh; my limbs not so supple as they were at Brixton in ’93; my tongue not so glib; my heart quieter; my hopes, thoughts, and feelings, all of the complexion of a sunny autumn evening. I have a sort of presage that I shall live to finish Madoc and my History. God grant it, and that then my work will be done.