The Life and Correspondence of Robert Southey
Robert Southey to John May, 1 January 1817
“Keswick, Jan. 1. 1817.
“My dear Friend,
“Your last letter gave me great and most unexpected
concern. I had indeed believed that you were sailing on a quiet sea, in no
danger of shoals or tempests. By what principle, or what strange want of
principle, is it that mercantile men so often, for the sake of the shortest
reprieve from bankruptcy, involve their nearest friends and connexions with
them? I write to you in a frame of mind which you will easily conceive, looking
back upon the year which has just closed, and reflecting on the trials with
which we have both been visited during its course. Your loss, I would fain
hope, may not prove altogether so great as you apprehend; and I would hope also
that some prize in the lottery of life, full of change as it is, may one day or
other replace it. Even at the worst it leaves you heart-whole. It will be long
before I shall find myself so; and if life had no duties, I should be very far
from desiring its continuance for the sake of any enjoyments which it can
possibly have in store. I have the same sort of feeling that a man who is
fondly attached to his family has when absent from them,—as if I were on
a journey. I yearn, perhaps more than I ought to do, to be at home and at rest.
Yet what abundant cause have I for thankfulness, possessing as I do so many
blessings, that I should think no man could possibly be happier, if I had not
been so much happier myself. Do not think
Ætat. 43. | OF ROBERT SOUTHEY. | 231 |
that I give way
to such feelings; far less that I encourage them, or am weak enough to repine.
What is lost in possession is given me in hope. I am now in my forty-third
year: both my parents died in their fiftieth. Should my lease be continued to
that term, there is a fair prospect of leaving my family well provided for; and
let it fall when it may, a decent provision is secured. Before this object was
attained, great natural cheerfulness saved me from any anxiety on this score,
and there happily exists no cause for anxiety when I have no longer the same
preservative. My house is in order, and whenever the summons may come I am
ready to depart. Dearly as I love these children, my presence is by no means so
necessary as it was to him who is gone. He drew in his intellectual life from
me, and a large portion of mine is departed with him. It is best as it is, for
he is gone in the perfection of his nature, and mine will not be the worse for
the chastening which it has undergone. Hitherto the lapse of time only makes me
feel the death of the wound. It will not be always thus. A few years (if they
are in store for me) will alter the nature of my regret. I shall then be
sensible how different a being Herbert,
were he living, would be from the Herbert whom I have
lost, and the voices and circumstances which now so forcibly recall him, will
have lost their power. Too much of this. But holidays are mournful days to
persons in our situation, and the strong forefeeling which I have always
experienced of such possibilities, has always made me dislike the observance of
particular days. Your god-daughter is
the only child 232 | LIFE AND CORRESPONDENCE | Ætat. 43. |
whose birthday I have not contrived to
forget, and hers has been remembered from the accident of its being May-day. .
. . .
“God bless you, my dear Friend!
Yours most affectionately,
Robert Southey.”