Vernon* has mistaken the object of my letter, and I have written to tell him so. I had no other object in writing to him than to say this: “Do not let the Archbishop imagine that I have either conceived or represented myself to be the martyr of his severity. I never thought I should be compelled, though I had no doubt I should be expected, to build, and fairly expected; and when any man who can command me to do a just thing, does not command me because he is afraid of appearing harsh, his forbearance is, and ought to be, as powerful as any mandate.”
Vernon’s reply to my first letter contains an express permission from the Archbishop to recede from my engagement, if I think fit. To this I have answered (with every expression of gratitude for the intention) that it comes too late; that I have incurred expenses and engagements which render it imprudent and impossible to retreat; that had I known myself two years ago to have been a free agent, as I now find I might have been, I would have set myself sincerely to work to find out some habitation without building; that I am convinced his Grace was misled by my light manner of talking of these matters, and never ima-
* Mr. Vernon Harcourt, son of the late Archbishop of York. |
102 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
When I say that I shall pass my life at Foston, I by no means intend to take a desponding view of my situation, or to doubt the kindness of those friends whom I love so sincerely, and from whom I have already received obligations which I never can forget while I can remember anything. But their power to do me good depends upon accidents upon which it would be folly in any man to found a regular calculation. Those accidental visitations of fortune are like prizes in the lottery, which must not be put into the year’s income till they turn up. My fancy is my own: I may see as many crosiers in the clouds as I please; but when I sit down seriously to consider what I shall do upon important occasions, I must presume myself rector of Foston for life.
I shall be in town Wednesday night late, and stay only four or five days.
What you say about the Whigs, the measure you take of their usefulness, and of the share of power they may enjoy, is fair and reasonable.