You have been so used to these sort of impertinences, that I believe you will excuse me for saying how very much I am pleased with the first number of your new work. Pecksniff and his daughters, and Pinch, are admirable,—quite first-rate painting, such as no one but yourself can execute.
| 482 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I did not like your genealogy of the Chuzzlewits, and I must wait a little to see how Martin turns out; I am impatient for the next number.
Pray come and see me next summer; and believe me ever yours,
P.S.—Chuffey is admirable. I never read a finer piece of writing; it is deeply pathetic and affecting. Your last number is excellent. Don’t give yourself the, trouble to answer my impertinent eulogies, only excuse them. Ever yours,
I exempt you from a regular and punctual system of answers to my nonsense. I find it almost impossible to read your handwriting; but knowing it always contains some proffer of kindness and hospitality to me, I answer upon general principles and conjecture.
Have you any objection to take a few lessons of writing from me in my morning calls? I could bring you on very much in the course of next summer; and if you take pains, I will show your book to Lady Cowper. I behaved very generously to Bobus in letting him off from coming here; he promises to come next summer, but such is my good-nature, that I think he will try to escape. Bowood is, I believe, his only exception to the love of solitude.
We are in a snow-storm; but with a warm house and noisy
grandchildren, I defy the weather. I wish
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 483 |
Are you well? Answer me that, and I am answered. I question everybody who comes from Curzon-street, and the answers I get are so various, that I must look into the matter myself. Who comes to see you? or rather, who does not come to see you? Who are the wise, the fair, the witty, who absent themselves from your parties, and still preserve their character for beauty, for wisdom, and for wit? I have been hybernating in my den, but begin to scent the approach of Spring, and to hear the hum of the Metropolis, proposing to be there the 22nd of February.
Poor ——! the model of all human prosperity! He seems to have been killed, as an animal is killed, for his plumpness. What other motive could there be? Or was it to liberate him from the ——? to terminate the frigid friendship, and to guard the —— from that heavy pleasantry with which, in moments of relaxation, —— is apt to overwhelm his dependants? I say, moments of relaxation; because this unbending posture of mind is never observed in him for more than a few seconds.
Mankind looked on with critical curiosity when Lady Holland dined with you; only general results
reached me here; it would have been conducted, I am sure, with the greatest
learning and skill on both sides.
| 484 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I am studying the death of Louis XVI. Did he die heroically? or did he struggle on the scaffold? Was that struggle (for I believe there was one) for permission to speak? or from indignation at not being suffered to act for himself at the last moment, and to place himself under the axe? Make this out for me, if you please, and speak of it to me when I come to London. I don’t believe the Abbé Edgeworth’s “Son of St. Louis, montez an ciel!” It seems necessary that great people should die with some sonorous and quotable saying. Mr. Pitt said something not intelligible in his last moments: G. Rose made it out to be, “Save my country, Heaven!” The nurse, on being interrogated, said that he asked for barley-water.
I have seen nobody since I saw you, but persons in orders. My only varieties are vicars, rectors, curates, and every now and then (by way of turbot) an archdeacon. There is nobody in the country but parsons. Remember, you gave me your honour and word that I should find you both in good health in February. Upon the faith of this promise I gave, and now give, you my benediction.
Bulteel has stated his case to me, and I
have given
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 485 |
Many thanks for your address, which I will diligently read. May there not be some one among the infinite worlds where men and women are all made of stone? Perhaps of Parian marble? How infinitely superior to flesh and blood! What a Paradise for you, to pass eternity with a greywacke woman!
P. S.—Very good indeed! The model of an address from a scientific man to practical men! Great zeal, and an earnest desire to make others zealous.
The style and language just what they ought to be. No
lapses, no indiscretions. The only expression I quarrel with is, monograph;
either it has some con-
| 486 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Was there ever such stupid trash as these humorous songs? If there is anything on earth makes me melancholy, it is a humorous song. Still I glory in the Widow E——, and am infinitely pleased with her good sense and the gentleness of her nature.
I did not think you were recovered at Mr. Grenville’s, but I thought you better at Belgrave-square. I took a medical survey of you, unobserved by you.
Always, dear Georgiana, your affectionate friend,
|
My dear G.,
The pain in my knee
Would not suffer me
To drink your bohea.
I can laugh and talk,
But I cannot walk;
And I thought His Grace would stare
If I put my leg on a chair.
And to give the knee its former power,
It must be fomented for half an hour;
And in this very disagreeable state,
If I had come at all, I should have been too late.
|
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 487 |
My lectures are gone to the dogs, and are utterly forgotten. I knew nothing of moral philosophy, but I was thoroughly aware that I wanted £200 to furnish my house. The success, however, was prodigious; all Albemarle-street blocked up with carriages, and such an uproar as I never remember to have been excited by any other literary imposture. Every week I had a new theory about conception and perception; and supported by a natural manner, a torrent of words, and an impudence scarcely credible in this prudent age. Still, in justice to myself, I must say there were some good things in them. But good and bad are all gone. By ‘moral philosophy’ you mean, as they mean at Edinburgh, mental philosophy; i.e. the faculties of the mind, and the effects which our reasoning powers and our passions produce upon the actions of our lives.
I think the University uses you and us very ill, in keeping you so strictly at Cambridge. If Jupiter could desert Olympus for twelve days to feast with the harmless Ethiopians, why may not the Vice-Chancellor commit the graduating, matriculating world for a little time to the inferior deities, and thunder and lighten at the tables of the Metropolis?
I hope you like Horner’s ‘Life.’ It succeeds extremely well here. It is full of all the exorbitant and impracticable views so natural to very young men at Edinburgh; but there is great order, great love of knowledge, high principle and feelings, which ought to grow and thrive in superior minds.
| 488 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Our kind regards to Mrs. Whewell. Ever, my dear Sir, sincerely yours,
I am very much obliged to you for your book, which I shall read, though I shall not understand it; not from your want of light, but from my want of vision. I rejoice in your reputation; I know your industry and enterprise, and am always truly yours,
I dine on Saturday with the good Widow T——, and blush to say that I have no disposable day before the 26th; by which time you will, I presume, be plucking gooseberries in the suburban regions of Richmond. But think not, O Berries! that that distance, or any other, of latitude or longitude, shall prevent me from following you, plucking you, and eating you. Whatever pleasure men find in the raspberry, in the strawberry, in the coffee-berry, all these pleasures are to my taste concentrated in the May-Fair Berries. Ever theirs,
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 489 |
I should be glad to hear something of your life and adventures, and the more particularly so, as I learn you have no intention of leaving Edinburgh for London this season.
Mrs. Sydney and I have been remarkably well, and are so at present; why, I cannot tell. I am getting very old in years, but do not feel that I am become so in constitution. My locomotive powers at seventy-three are abridged, but my animal spirits do not desert me. I am become rich. My youngest brother died suddenly, leaving behind him £100,000 and no will. A third of this therefore fell to my share, and puts me at my ease for my few remaining years. After buying into the Consols and the Reduced, I read Seneca ‘On the Contempt of Wealth!’ What intolerable nonsense! I heard your éloge from Lord Lansdowne when I dined with him, and I need not say how heartily I concurred in it. Next to me sat Lord Worsley, whose enclosed letter affected me, and very much pleased me. I answered it with sincere warmth. Pray return me the paper. Did you read my American Petition, and did you approve it?
Why don’t they talk over the virtues and
excellencies of Lansdowne? There is no man
who performs the duties of life better, or fills a high station in a more
becoming manner. He is full of knowledge, and eager for its acquisition. His
remarkable polite-
| 490 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Remember me very kindly to the maximus minimus* and to the Scotch Church. I have urged my friend the Bishop of Durham to prepare kettles of soup for the seceders, who will probably be wandering in troops over our northern counties.
Excellent! nothing can be better! You must settle it with the Americans as you can, but I have nothing to do with that. I have only to certify that the number is full of wit, humour, and power of description.
I am slowly recovering from an attack of gout in the knee, and am very sorry to have missed you.
|
* Lord Jeffrey. |
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 491 |
I am only half recovered from a violent attack of gout in the knee, and I could not bear the confinement of dinner, without getting up and walking between the courses, or thrusting my foot on somebody else’s chair, like the Archbishop of Dublin. For these reasons, I have been forced for some time, and am still forced, to decline dinner engagements. I should, in a sounder state, have had great pleasure in accepting the very agreeable party you are kind enough to propose to me; but I shall avail myself, in the next campaign, of your kindness. I consider myself as well acquainted with Lady Mahon and yourself, and shall hope to see you here, as well as elsewhere. Pray present my benediction to your charming wife, who I am sure would bring any plant in the garden into full flower by looking at it, and smiling upon it. Try the experiment from mere curiosity. Ever yours,
I have been sadly tormented with the gout in my knee. I had made great progress; but at the Archbishop’s I walked too much, and the gout came back.
My place looks very beautiful, and I really enjoy the
change. We were very sorry not to see you the evening you were to come to us;
but the temptation not to come, where you have engaged to come, is more than
you can resist: try refusing, and see what that
| 492 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I have taken the liberty to send your Grace the half of a Cheddar cheese. It is directed to you, at Nuneham Steventon. You will be glad to hear my knee is better a good deal. I have written two letters to the Reverend Leibnitz Newton Lavoisier W—— H——, to know when he means to come here, and can get no answer. There must be something wrong at the Poles or the Equator, or in the Milky Way. Pray jog him.
I am learning to sing some of Moore’s songs, which I think I shall do to great perfection. I found here everything very comfortable and very beautiful; as I left everything, though in a very superior degree, at Nuneham.
I beg my kind regards to dear Georgiana, and remain, my dear Lord, with affection and respect, always yours,
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 493 |
Let me, if you please, have a word or two from you, to tell me of your new habitation. Saba seems to have been delighted with her visit. I see —— has been with you. How did you like her? To me she is agreeable, civil, and elegant, and by no means insipid. She has a kind of ready-money smile, and a three-percent. affability, which make her interesting.
We have been leading a very solitary life here. Hardly a soul has been here, but I am contented, as I value more every day the pleasures of indolence; and there is this difference between a large inn like Temple Newsam and a small public-house like Combe Florey, that you hold a numerous society, who make themselves to a certain degree independent of you, and do not weigh upon you; whereas, as I hold only two or three, the social weight is upon me. Luttrell is staying here. Nothing can exceed the innocence of our conversation. It is one continued eulogy upon man-and-woman-kind. You would suppose that two Arcadian old gentlemen, after shearing their flocks, had agreed to spend a week together upon curds and cream, and to indulge in gentleness of speech and softness of mind.
We have had a superb summer, but I am glad it is over; I am never happy till the fires are lighted. Where is your house in London? You cannot but buy one: it is absolutely impossible for Temple Newsam not to have a London establishment. God bless you, dear G.! Keep a little love for your old friend,
| 494 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I still believe in the return of business to Manchester, because I believe in the efficiency of capital, coals and priority of skill, and cannot think that these advantages can be so soon eclipsed. How can the cotton trade be lessened, if the import of the raw article continues every three years to increase? If the demand remains the same, or nearly the same, and a mill, from the improvements of machinery, can do three times the work it used to do, of course two-thirds of the mills must be put down; and this apparent stagnation is considered a proof of the diminution of the trade, whereas it is evidence of its healthy state and its increase.
We have had little Tommy Moore here, who seemed very much pleased with his visit. Mrs. Holland and her five children are here.
I cannot make out the Spanish revolution. I thought Espartero honest, brave, and to be well understood and esteemed by the Spanish people; but they all rise up with one accord, and kick him into that refuge of expelled monarchs—a British man-of-war.
I think the Conservatives begin to feel that Sir Robert Peel is a little damaged; still I
should be sorry to see him out: he knows how to disguise liberal ideas, and to
make them less terrible to the Foolery of a country. The Whigs delight to shock
and affront, and to make their enemies ashamed that such a measure has not been
carried out before. I am glad your journey is about to be shortened to London:
the
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 495 |
We shall be extremely glad to see Grote and you. I have not received the ‘Morning Post’ you sent me, but I perceive, in other papers, my squib has burst, and caused some consternation.
I find I am getting old, and that my bodily feelings agree very well with the parish register. You seem to have had a very amusing life, with singing and dancing; but you cannot excite my envy by all the descriptions of your dramas and melodramas; you may as well paint the luxuries of barley-meal to a tiger, or turn a leopard into a field of clover. All this class of pleasures inspires me with the same nausea as I feel at the sight of rich plum-cake or sweetmeats; I prefer the driest bread of common life. I am in no degree answering your taste, but stating my own.
I wish Mrs. —— would make us a visit here; she is so good-natured and amiable, that we should be really very glad to see her.
In coming here, you come to old-age, and stupidity
connected with old-age; I have no recommendation to
| 496 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Peel seems to be a little damaged; it may be that Ireland cannot be governed by Tories. Three-fourths of the quarrels of England seem to be about established churches. Dr. Holland is just come from Ireland with a diminished sense of the danger of the Repeal cry. My house is, as I tell my daughter, as full of Hollands as a gin-shop.
I have a letter from Ticknor, of Boston, who thinks the Pennsylvanians will pay; but I tell him when once a people have tasted the luxury of not paying their debts, it is impossible to bring them back to the black broth of honesty. Yours,
P.S.—The ‘Morning Post’ is arrived. The author of the letter is Ticknor, Professor at Boston; it is honourable to me; but he magnifies my literary gains, and I much doubt if I have ever gained £1500 by my literary labours in the course of my life.
Don’t attempt to teach Sir —— —— the Northumberland method of farming. He cares for nothing but Piccadilly and the hospitals, and Lady ——, and is miserable out of London. In coming home last week from a dinner-party, our carriage was stopped; and as I was preparing my watch and money, a man put his head into the window, and said, “We want Dr. Holland.” They took him out, and we have heard nothing of him since; we think of advertising.
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 497 |
I am thinking of going for a week or ten days to Ilfracombe. My only difficulty is to find out whether I like to go. I am very fond of a short visit to the sea, but the comforts of home become every day more important to old people; a bad bed, a cold room, a smoky grate,—these are the prices always paid for excursions. Ever affectionately yours,
I am just beginning to get well from that fit of gout, at the beginning of which you were charitable enough to pay me a visit, and I said—the same Providence which inflicts gout creates Dufferins! We must take the good and the evils of life.
I am charmed, I confess, with the beauty of this country. I hope some day you will be charmed with it too. It banished, however, every Arcadian notion to see —— walk in at the gate today. I seemed to be transported instantly to Piccadilly, and the innocence went out of me.
I hope the process of furnishing goes on well. Attend, I
pray you, to the proper selection of an easy chair, where you may cast yourself
down in the weariness and distresses of life, with the absolute certainty that
every joint of the human frame will receive all the comfort which can be
derived from easy position and soft materials; then the glass, on which your
eyes are so often fixed, knowing that you have the great duty imposed on the
Sheridans, of looking well. You
| 498 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I hope you remain in perfect favour with Rogers, and that you are not omitted in any of the dress breakfast parties. Remember me to the Norton: tell her I am glad to be sheltered from her beauty by the insensibility of age; that I shall not live to see its decay, but die with that unfaded image before my eyes: but don’t make a mistake, and deliver the message to ——, instead of your sister.
I remain, dear Lady Dufferin, very sincerely yours,
I am very much mortified that Lady Dufferin does not answer my letter. She has gone to Germany—she is sick—she has married Rogers—she . . . . In short, all sorts of melancholy explanations came across me, till I found that the probable reason of her not answering my letter was, that she had not received it. I was strengthened in this belief from finding in my writing-desk the letter itself, which was written a month ago, and I conceived it to have been despatched the same day. I can write nothing better, for I can only repeat my admiration and regard.
I am reading again Madame du
Deffand. God forbid I should be as much in love with anybody
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 499 |
I see some serious evil has befallen Ferguson of Raith. I lament it for your sake and for the general good, as he is an excellent person.
The smell of war is not over. I lament, and can conceive no greater misery. Among other evils, everybody must be ready for fighting; and I am not ready, but much the contrary. I am ten miles from the coast; a French steamer arrives in the night, and the first thing I hear in the morning is that the cushions of my pulpit are taken away, and my curate and churchwardens carried into captivity.
I was sorry to be forced to give —— such a beating, but he was very saucy and deserved it; however, now the battle is over, and I hope to live in good humour with all the world for the rest of my life, and to bury the war hatchet. I am glad to hear such excellent accounts of your health. Live as long as you can; nobody will be more missed. Give my love, if you please, to Agnes and Lady Charlotte. If you return, all of you, in good health to London, I will speak to Milnes, and have a poem written in praise of Richmond.
How is Lord Grey going
on? I conjecture that
| 500 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Suppose O’Connell to have used language violently seditious, that there is clear proof of it, and that it is possible to obtain anything like a fair trial, I think the Ministers have acted properly. The question is worth a battle or two; and, if the battle is to be fought (I mean the physical battle), it had better be at the time we choose, rather than at the time he chooses. We have no foreign war now; there is a good harvest, and an improving trade. I don’t think it a bad time for taking O’Connell by the beard, and then, the next Parliament, pay the Catholic clergy.
My prediction is, that Peel will be driven out by the concessions to be made to Ireland, and that it will fall to Lord John to destroy the absurd Protestant Church in that kingdom. It will hardly do to pay the priests; the thing is gone beyond that now. You must remove the flockless pastors, or the payment of the priesthood will be useless.
I think the Duke quite wrong about the sites for the new churches. I should feel very disaffected against inequality of possession, if I could not get a place for my altar. I am almost for compelling the landed possessor, under the verdict of an appraising jury, to sell me land for such purposes. I become irritable at this oppression. I think Lord Grey and you will catch the kindred flame.
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 501 |
Jeffrey has written to me to say he means to dedicate his Essays to me. This I think a very great honour, and it pleases me very much. I am sure he ought to resign. He has very feeble health; a mild climate would suit the state of his throat. Mrs. Jeffrey thinks he could not employ himself. Wives know a great deal about husbands; but, if she is right, I should be surprised. I have thought he had a canine appetite for books, though this sometimes declines in the decline of life. I am beautifying my house in Green-street; a comfortable house is a great source of happiness. It ranks immediately after health and a good conscience. I see your religious war is begun in Scotland. I suppose Jeffrey will be at the head of the Free Church troops. Do you think he has any military talents?
You are, I hear, attending more to diet than heretofore.
If you wish for anything like happiness in the fifth act of life, eat and drink
about one-half what you could eat and drink. Did I ever
tell you my calculation about eating and drinking? Having ascertained the
weight of what I could live upon, so as to preserve health and strength, and
what I did live upon, I found that, between ten and seventy years of age, I had
eaten and drunk forty four-horse waggon-loads of meat and drink more than would
have preserved me in life and health! The value of this mass of nourishment I
considered to be worth seven thousand pounds sterling. It occurred to me that I
must, by my vo-
| 502 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Lord and Lady Lansdowne, who are rambling about this fine country, are to spend a day here next week. You must really come to see the West of England. From Combe Florey we will go together to Linton and Lynmouth, than which there is nothing finer in this island. Two of our acquaintance dead this week,—Stewart Mackenzie and Bell! We must close our ranks. God bless you, my dear Murray!
I have been very much occupied during the last week, or I should have written to you before, to express the great pleasure which I have received from the intelligence of your kind and generous intentions towards young Mr. Tate. It is a substantial proof of your regard for his father, and I really believe well deserved by the young man himself, who has been an active and useful curate of the parish which is now placed in his charge as vicar.
This arrangement will be most cheering and consolatory to poor Mrs. Tate.*
|
* See Memoir, p. 203. |
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 503 |
I am glad the business is in such good hands; it is the important measure of the day. As to any share I may take in it, it must depend upon my foot, ankle, and knee. If the Americans will not book up, they must take the consequences.
I am just going to pray for you at St. Paul’s, but with no very lively hope of success.
I am afraid there is little chance of your coming so far as Combe Morey, but, if that could be done, it would give us sincere pleasure to show Mrs. Murray and yourself our very pretty country; in the meantime I shall look forward to the more probable chance of seeing you here.
Jeffrey’s legs have as little to support as any legs in the island; I cannot see why they should be out of order. I am delighted to find his general health so good. He is about to dedicate his Reviews to me. I said (what I sincerely felt) that I considered it as the greatest compliment ever paid to me. I shall be obliged to you for the herrings, and tell me, at the same time, how to dress them; but perhaps I mistake, and they are to be eaten naked.
Your exhortation comes too late. My letter in the
‘Chronicle’ was
published before yours to me arrived.
| 504 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Many thanks, dear Lady Ashburton; but on the 7th I must be at Combe Florey, and remain there till my emersion in February. I return to London on Monday, and depart again for home immediately. All joking apart,—the real impediment to making visits is, that derangeable health which belongs to old-age. I am never well when I arrive at a new house. The bread, the water, the hours, the bed, the change of bolster,—everything puts me out. I recover in two or three days, and then it is time to depart. This made the wise man say, that a man should give over arguing at thirty, riding at sixty, and visiting at seventy.
I am truly sorry you are not well. I consider Lord Ashburton and you as good friends, and I rejoice in your rejoicing, and am sorry for the ills which happen to you. I agree with you that —— is in the high road to Puseyism, and that —— is the postboy who is driving her there. She does not mind in the least what I say to her, and calls me a priest of Baal.
Pray give my kind regards to the Plenipotentiary;
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 505 |
I have just read an admirable review of Senior’s upon Ireland, for the next Edinburgh Review. Nothing can be wiser or better; at the same time, how can any two enlightened persons differ upon such a subject?
Pray do not put off coming to town next year, or, at least, coming to Combe Florey; for I am afraid I cannot put off dying much longer;—not that I am ill, but old. I am very glad you like my American Letters. The question is, will they make them angry or honest,—or both? I did not however mean to say what would make them pay, but to show them that their conduct had been shameful in not paying before, and should leave upon them this feeling, whether they ultimately paid or not.
Tell William Murray, with my kindest regards, to get for you, when he comes to town, a book called ‘Arabiniana, or Remains of Mr. Serjeant Arabin,’—very witty and humorous. It is given away—not sold, but I have in vain endeavoured to get a copy.
| 506 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I hope you were amused with my attack upon the Americans. They really deserved it. It is a monstrous and increasing villany. Fancy a meeting in Philadelphia, convened by public advertisement, where they came to resolutions that the debt was too great for the people to pay, that the people could not pay it, and ought not to pay it! I have not a conception that the creditors will ever have a single shilling.
Tell Lord Grey I recommend to his attention, in the forthcoming Edinburgh Review, an article upon Ireland by Senior, the Master in Chancery, which I think admirable; it contains, in my humble estimation, an enumeration of the medicines, and a statement of the treatment, necessary for your distracted country; in defence of which I always state that it has at least produced Lady Grey.
I keep my health tolerably well: occasionally fits of gout, but my eyes are in good preservation; and while I can read and can write, I have no care about age. I should add another condition,—that I must have no pain. I am reading the Letters to George Selwyn, by which I am amused. Many of them are written with wit and spirit; they bring before me people of whom I know a little; and the notes are so copious, that the book makes a history of those times; certainly, a history of the manners and mode of life of the upper orders of society.
Remember me very kindly and affectionately to my
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 507 |
Nothing can be better than the grouse; they arrived in perfect preservation, and gave great satisfaction. Lady —— is staying here. She seems to be a very sensible and very worthy person. I must do her the justice to say that when my jokes are explained to her, and she has leisure to reflect upon them, she laughs very heartily.
I am glad you like my American Letters. I see the rebound has taken place, and all the papers combine in abusing me. My firm opinion is, that they will never pay. The Legislature dares not impose the tax,—the people would never pay it. I shall not be unobservant of what is said in the American papers, and, if needs be, address a few more last words to Jonathan.
Be sure that you keep to your plan of coming to England at Easter, to be fresh dyed. Depend upon it, it will do you good.
My dear Mrs. Grote, I hope the Irish fossils have reached you by this time, and that they are approved of.
| 508 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
My bomb has fallen very successfully in America, and the list of killed and wounded is extensive. I have several quires of paper sent me every day, calling me monster, thief, atheist, deist, etc. Duff Green sent me three pounds of cheese, and a Captain Monigan a large barrel of American apples. The last news from America will, I think, lower the Pennsylvanian funds.
I wonder how you are occupied. I am reading Montaigne. He thinks aloud, that is his great merit, but does not think remarkably well; mankind have improved in thinking and writing since that period. Have you read Senior’s article for the forthcoming Edinburgh Review? It is excellent, and does him great credit.
I went, while in town, one night to the Sartoris’, where Mrs. Sartoris was singing divinely. Your sincere friend,
You are so energetic, that you never attend to anything in particular, but are always lost in generalities. I sent you a letter of Jeffrey’s, which you have not returned. Are you satisfied that your friend Faucher was treated as well as Lord Jeffrey’s health would permit?
You complain of the smallness of the potatoes: let me
suggest the romantic plan of having the potatoes
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 509 |
You have planted seven hundred firs; the number is scarcely credible. Have you read the Swedish method of planting, under which the tree grows fourteen feet in one year? It consists in burying half a pound of tallow candles with every fir planted. I cannot believe it; but it is difficult to disbelieve what is published in a grave work.
I am going to Bowood for five or six days next week. I
shall find Bobus there, who will come on
from thence here. He is very blind, but bears up against the evils of age
heroically. The great question of the next Session will be the support of the
Catholic clergy. Will Peel dare to bring
it on? Will he be able to carry it in and out of the House, if he does?
Longman has printed my American Letters in the shape of a small
pamphlet, and it has a very great circulation. I receive presents of cheese and
apples from Americans who are advocates for paying debts, and very abusive
letters in print and in manuscript
| 510 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I will bear in mind the name and misfortunes of Mr. B., and if any opportunity occurs, will endeavour to make myself useful to him; but, as you may suppose, I am up to the ears in clergymen. Your mother sent you the flaming panegyric of me in the ‘Morning Chronicle’ (and sent it at my desire, because I am sure it would give you pleasure, as I see you have an honest pride in the praises of your father); whether right or wrong others must determine, if any one thinks about it; but I should really deserve some praise if I could write as well as my eulogist.
Your mother and I mean to have a twelfth-cake, and draw kings and queens alone. Pray desire G. Hibbert to let us know whether and when he will come, and don’t forget this message. Many thanks for your kindness in getting Charlotte Loch* a place; the misfortune of the poor girl is that she has not been taught millinery and mantuamaking. Give my love to all your party; and believe me,
|
* One of his parishioners, about whom he was interested. |
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 511 |
Many pardons for not having written to you according to promise; but the calf and the kitchen-maid both kept their beds, George Strong had quinsy, and the shafts were broken. I had a very agreeable journey down, going in the public carriages,—an infinitely more agreeable method than in a private vehicle. I felt as little fatigue as in my arm-chair in this library, and could have gone on to the world’s end without being tired.
The whole country is divided between the Clerk of the Peace and Captain Mars, who has challenged him. Mars, the God of War, challenging the Clerk of the Peace! I am studying the question deeply, as is Cecil.
Not a breath of wind; a solemn stillness; all nature fast asleep; Storm and Tempest bound over to keep the peace! There never was such a period.
Love to Holland and the children.
Oh, you little wretch! your letter cost me fourpence. I
will pull all the plums out of your puddings; I will undress your dolls and
steal their under petticoats; you shall have no currant-jelly to your rice; I
will kiss you till you cannot see out of your eyes; when no-
| 512 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
I hope, my dear friend, you are well. I met the lofty P—— on the railroad, and he gave me some account of you, but not enough for my ravenous desire of your welfare. Oh, happy woman! the suburban beauties of Richmond were not enough; but Providence sent you ——, a woman of piety and ancient faith; and the preux chevalier, sans peur et sans reproche!
Mrs. Sydney and I are tolerably well. The diminished temperature has restored my locomotive powers, such as they are; but in the dog-days I could not move.
We have had Tommy Moore and Lady Morley, and a few more unknown to fame. Dr. Holland has just made a rush from Combe Florey to Jerusalem. By the bye, I saw a piece of news the other day, in which a gentleman made his good fortune known to the world in the public papers. “Last week the Rev. Elias Johnson was made Examining Chaplain to the Bishop of Jerusalem!” I should like to know what his questions are to the candidates.
I presume you have never been a day without crowds. Has
the Davy glittered at Richmond? By deaths
and
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 513 |
Pray understand me rightly: I do not give the Bluecoat theory as an established fact, but as a highly probable conjecture; look at the circumstances. At a very early age young Quakers disappear, at a very early age the Coat-boys are seen; at the age of seventeen or eighteen young Quakers are again seen; at the same age, the Coat-boys disappear: who has ever heard of a Coat-man? The thing is utterly unknown in natural history. Upon what other evidence does the migration of the grub into the aurelia rest? After a certain number of days the grub is no more seen, and the aurelia flutters over his relics. That such a prominent fact should have escaped our naturalists is truly astonishing; I had long suspected it, but was afraid to come out with a speculation so bold, and now mention it as protected and sanctioned by you.
Dissection would throw great light upon the question; and if our friend —— would receive two boys into his house about the time of their changing their coats, great service would be rendered to the cause.
Our friend Lord Grey, not remarkable for his attention to natural history, was a good deal struck with the
* This letter, without date, seems to have been after a conversation given in the Narrative, page 350, where the subject is alluded to. |
| 514 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
Had I received your letter two days since, I should have
said your arguments and theory were perfectly convincing, and that the most
obstinate sceptic must have yielded to them; but I have come across a person in
that interval who gives me information which puts us all at sea again. That the
Bluecoat boy should be the larva of the Quaker in Great Britain is possible,
and even probable, but we must take a wider view of the question; and here, I
confess, I am bewildered by doubts and difficulties. The Bluecoat is an
indigenous animal—not so the Quaker; and now be so good as to give your whole
mind to the facts I have to communicate. I have seen and talked much with
Sir R. Ker Porter on this
interesting subject. He has travelled over the whole habitable globe, and has
penetrated with a scientific and scrutinizing eye into regions hitherto
unexplored by civilized man; and yet he has never seen a Quaker baby. He has
lived for years in Philadelphia (the national nest of Quakers); he has roamed
up and down Broadways and lengthways in every nook and corner of Pennsylvania;
and yet he never saw a Quaker baby; and what is new and most
| MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 515 |
Noble countenance, expressing quite sufficient when at rest, too much when in activity. Middling voice, provincial accent, occasional bad taste, language often very happy, with flights of mere eloquence; not the vehicle of reasoning or profound remark. Very difficult, when the sermon was over, to know what it was about; and the whole effect rather fatiguing and tiresome. Dear Lady Morley, pray tell me whether you agree with me. Most truly yours,
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