The Autobiography of William Jerdan
        Ch. 24: Byron
        
        
          
        
        
          
        
       
      
      
      
      
     
    
    
    
    
    
    
     CHAPTER XXIV. 
    
     RETURN—BYRON CHALLENGE—ANECDOTES. 
    
    
      
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            ———“He whose nod,  
           Has tumbled feebler despots from their sway,  
           A moment pauseth ere he lifts the rod;  
           A little moment deigneth to delay;  
           Soon will his legions sweep through these his way;  
           The West must own the scourger of the world.  
           Oh! Spain! how sad will be thy reckoning-day,  
           When soars Gaul’s vulture with his wings unfurled,  
           And thou shalt see thy sons in crowds to Hades hurled.”  
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            “Or, may I give adventurous fancy scope,  
           And stretch a bold hand to the awful veil  
           That hides futurity from anxious hope,  
           Bidding, beyond it, scenes of glory hail,  
           And fainting Europe rousing at the tale  
           Of Spain’s invaders from her confines hurled;  
           While kindling nations buckle on their mail,  
           And Fame, with clarion blast and wing unfurled,  
           To freedom and revenge awakes an injured world!”  
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    On leaving Paris, it was my good fortune to meet with a fellow
                        traveller, also bound for London, and to agree with him that we should return together. We
                        accordingly hired a carriage, and proceeded without hurry on our destination, and I soon
                        learnt that I could not have fallen in with a more congenial and agreeable companion.
                            Mr. Douglas Kinnaird, was at the time, one of
                        the most zealous members of the Drury Lane Committee of Management, his enthusiasm ![]()
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 about Kean, and his anxiety
                        about the success of the theatre excessive, and his anecdotes of Lord Byron, Whitbread, Peter Moore, and others, racy and entertaining in the
                        highest degree. With regard to Byron he informed me of a circumstance
                        which more nearly affected me than I had ever dreamt of in my slight intercourse with that
                        noble lord. It appeared that the remarks I published on his unworthy lines to Mrs. Charlemont (his lady’s attendant) had given him
                        mortal offence, and, in the ebullition of his fury, he deemed it right to demand
                        satisfaction, and entrusted the challenge to be delivered to Mr.
                            Kinnaird. Knowing his friend, that gentleman found
                        that he could not find me during the whole day. Newspaper folks were
                        difficult of access, and towards evening took occasion to appeal from
                            Philip drunk to Philip sober, and to put it
                        to his lordship whether it was not infinitely beneath his dignity to call out a paltry
                        scribbler, who might even, by some awkward chance, shoot him and rob the peerage and the
                        poetic world of one of their greatest ornaments. This and more to a similar effect my
                        informant jocularly told me, and insisted on my owing him a deep debt of gratitude for his
                        prudent conduct, especially as Lord Byron was a certain shot! At any
                        rate he had dissuaded the angry bard from his desperate purpose; and all that the public
                        may have since gained from him or me, may possibly be attributable to the sensible advice
                        of Mr. Kinnaird. He had kept the cartel and promised it to me as an
                        autograph, and I dare say (if not stolen or taken with hundreds of others) I shall turn it
                        up from among the masses of papers, which (very partially examined) have sadly tried my
                        patience and almost crazed my brain, in preparing these sheets for the press. 
    
     We slept one night on the road, in a double-bedded ![]()
                        room, on a stone floor, and our cotelettes and omelette charmingly cooked at the wood fire
                        in the same chamber; such was the best of the journey between Paris and the coast at that
                        primitive initiative of international intercourse. On the further side of the channel,
                            Mr. Kinnaird had his own light barouche in
                        waiting, and we posted up, in all haste, from Dover. It was midnight when we stopped to
                        change horses at Canterbury, and so intense was my companion’s desire to learn
                        something of Kean, who, I think, had performed in a
                        new character, that he actually caused the hostlers to “knock-up the house,” in
                        order to ascertain if there was any newspaper from town, or the landlord or waiter had
                        heard anything of the play! 
    
     During the rest of his life—for he was prematurely taken from his friends
                        and the world—I continued my pleasant acquaintance with this gentleman, who possessed many
                        traits well calculated to enhance his appreciation in society and companionable qualities.
                        A portion of humour, or drollery, would be mixed up with his other attainments; and
                            Coleridge told a piquant story of him at the
                        time the tragedy of “Remorse” was offered to, and accepted by, the managers of old Drury. 
    
    Mr. Kinnaird, according to my authority, had invited
                        him (Coleridge) to Pall Mall, where he resided, to
                        read the tragedy in question for his judgment thereon. The poet attended the manager, as in
                        duty bound, and was shown into his boudoir, or dressing-room, where he was assiduously
                        making his toilet. Without interrupting the process of shaving, teeth-cleaning, nail-paring
                        and scooping, &c., &c., he desired the poet to proceed with his reading, and the
                        poet complied; his didactic tone and sonorous voice ceasing at times, in the hope, perhaps,
                        that the pause might allow of a compliment or expression of admiration being administered.
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 But the critic shaved, and made no sign; dressed his nails, and
                        spoke not. Coleridge read on, and had got through an act or more, as
                        he related the tale—and an excellent hand he was at embellishment in such cases—when his
                        auditor suddenly stopped him, and pulling out a drawer full of papers from his
                        dressing-glass, said, “Now, my good friend, I have listened to enough of your
                            nonsense; and, in return, I have to request your attention to a little two-act piece of
                            mine, which I think will be a hit at Drury!” And
                            Coleridge had to listen in turn; for it will not do for dramatists
                        to displease managers; and so Mr. Kinnaird never knew the remainder of
                            “Remorse” till it was produced upon the boards;
                        and Sheridan had his jest upon the cavern scene,
                        where the percolating of the water is described—“Drip, drip, drip,” said
                        the satirist; “nothing but dripping.” It is the work of a man of genius,
                        notwithstanding; I am sorry I cannot record the fate of my esteemed
                        fellow-traveller’s “little two-act piece!” Observe, I very seldom employ
                        italics, because I trust to the inherent essence of my stories, and the intelligence of my
                        readers, to detect their merits; and if I fail, I continue, nevertheless, of the opinion
                        that italics are, at best, but civil bowing letters, begging of you, with due ceremony, to
                        believe that there is point, or wit, or humour, where there is none. 
    
     Among my curious memoranda about this time, is the note of being taken by
                        my friend, Mr. (Sir F.) Freeling, to see and dine
                        with the celebrated Lady Hamilton in the
                        King’s Bench Prison. She was embonpoint,
                        and still a fine woman; full of complaints, but too truly founded, of the cruel neglect she
                        experienced from Government, and the ungrateful return made for her own public services, as
                        well as to the dying behests of her glorious sailor. The deep conviction I that day
                        received, of the stern inflexibility ![]()
 with which official form can
                        perpetrate and adhere to wrong, has never yet been removed by my acquaintance with not a
                        few other cases, nor by reparation being given for humanity’s sake and the honour of
                        the country, on which the treatment of those whom its Nelson loved is still a shameful stain. Men, in their private transactions,
                        would shrink from acts of such ignominious ingratitude; but state departments, like
                        corporate bodies or numerous partnerships, have neither feelings nor a nice sense of truth
                        and justice. Mr. Freeling interested himself much with the Government
                        in the cause of Lady Hamilton, but with little, if any, effect. I
                        have, however, an idea that something was done for her immediate relief. 
    
     Again I was seated at my daily desk in the “Sun,” and the world jogged on more peaceably, if little less
                        quietly, than before; for royal visits, and national rejoicings, and interesting events,
                        rose rapidly to fill the scene with pageants and new changes, which, though of different
                        aspects, were equal in importance to the past. With these, and the actors in them, I shall
                        have something to do, as I travel onwards to my more strictly literary avocations, in 1817,
                        and meanwhile drop the curtain on my first year’s editing of a ministerial journal,
                        referring to the poetic heading of this chapter for the contrast which led to
                        mortification, on the one side, and triumph on the other.* 
    
     The literary leaning nourished in my nature, as I have endeavoured to
                        trace it to the fortunate tuition of Dr. Rutherford,
                        (for with all the ills it may bring in its course, a taste for literature and literary
                        occupation is a great blessing,) was manifested as soon as the desperate din of war and
                        absorbing strife of politics were so far quelled as to allow a breathing time for aught
                        else to be heard or seen. 
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 I immediately projected a Review of new Works to form a peace feature
                        in the paper; and this, I believe, was the first example of any attention of the kind being
                        paid by the newspaper press to the productions of its less ephemeral brethren of the quill.
                        When I look around me at this date, I cannot but feel a sensible gratification on
                        witnessing this little plant become the parent of a vast tree that overspreads the land,
                        and possesses a universal influence upon the interests of literature. It is true that  They must dig who gather ore,   And they must dig who gather lore;   | 
 and that we have a considerable proportion of very superficial scratchers of the soil,
                        both among authors and critics, but the mere fact of notoriety is a wonderful advantage to
                        the really deserving, and can do but little temporary mischief in keeping back the
                        sterling, puffing the mediocre, or bolstering up the trashy. Some years hence, however, in
                        my narrative, will be a fitter time more fully to discuss this important question. 
    
     London was now inundated with continental arrivals of monarchs, of
                        statesmen, of warriors, of amateurs, of works of art and vertu, and of articles of luxury,
                        the importation of which had so long been prohibited. The restoration of the Bourbons had
                        not only replenished Paris with statues, busts, portraits, paintings, engravings, and other
                        mementos of the murdered and exiled family, which had been concealed during the reign of
                        terror and revolutionary era; but the same repositories had yielded immense quantities of
                        antique furniture, knick-knacks, curiosities, and productions of old masters for virtuoso
                        admiration and purchase in England. The rage for instant transmission, too, before
                        Custom-house regulations could be established, was indescribable: a Parisian dealer offered
                        me a beautiful lace ![]()
 dress, on condition that I should carry another
                        along with it in my trunk, and deliver the latter to the address of a lady in London—it had
                        been wrought for the Queen of Holland, and was
                        valued at three thousand francs! I declined the mission; and it was lucky I did, for,
                        notwithstanding a very cursory inspection of my luggage at Dover, there was a contraband
                        packet discovered on the very top of all, and seized as a transgression which could not be
                        passed by. I had been asked, as a favour, to take it just as I was setting out, by the
                        celebrated Peltier; and my whole “kit”
                        exposed to forfeiture as a consequence of this friendly indiscretion. 
    
     During the summer and autumnal months of this year there were abundance of
                        incidents to interest the public; and a retrospective glance suggests a strange medley. The
                            Princess Charlotte’s hackney-coach
                        adventure, when she scolded her Bishop tutor, ran
                        away from Warwick-house to her mother’s in Connaught Place, and the match with the
                            Prince of Orange was finally broken off, was a
                        nine days’ wonder. The advent of Joanna
                            Southcote, and the silver cradle making for the expected Shiloh, lasted
                        longer. The mimic fleet on the Serpentine was an immense popular card, demonstrating that
                        all rulers who take the trouble to devise amusements for the populace know what they are
                        about, and how to smother disaffection, and create loyal attachment. The effect of a
                        genuine holiday upon a working population is not to be calculated, and politicians would do
                        well to study the problem. 
    
     But the grand visit of the allied monarchs and their famous followers to
                        London, was the focus of universal curiosity and admiration. Sight after sight, fête
                        after fête, and extraordinary novelty after novelty, kept the imagination on the
                        stretch, and seemed to plunge everybody ![]()
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 into an activity for pleasure
                        hunting, as if the British empire had been turned into one Greenwich Fair. From morning to
                        night there was nothing but whirl and delirium: there was no life but the present; all the
                        past was forgotten, and what the future might bring forth was uncared for. Among the most
                        prominent attractions were the Emperor Alexander, the
                            Duchess of Oldenburgh, Blucher and Platoff. Blucher was lodged in the small house, now
                        occupied by Lord Adolphus Fitzclarence, in St.
                        James’s Palace, and was scarcely allowed an hour’s rest in the four-and-twenty,
                        by the genteel crowds forcing their way into his privacy, and the common crowds assembling
                        in the court on the outside, and hallooing till they made him show himself at the window,
                        hat in hand, meerschaum in mouth, and bow his thanks for the uproarious distinction. The
                        old General was fatigued enough with his restless reception, and would sometimes, I think,
                        rather have been in a charge of cavalry than in the rush of female onset, which all but
                        shook him to pieces. In a few moments’ conversation with him I referred to our Paris
                        meeting, but, much as it interested him at the time, it was as I have already noticed, all
                        driven out of his head, and he appeared to recollect nothing about it, as a half-score more
                        of ladies were admitted to shake hands with him, or, inestimable prize! be honoured with a
                        salute! In the evening he probably longed for a cool sederunt at the gaming-table, and a
                        view at the heaps of gold, the coins of every nation, French, English, Italian, Dutch,
                        German, Russian, of all sorts and dates, which composed the glittering miscellaneous bank,
                        and tempted visitors to the risks of fickle Fortune. Platoff, it was
                        said, carried off three of his lady friends with him when he left England, and settled them
                        as Prima Donnas and samples of ![]()
 British beauty, somewhere upon the Don!
                        Different tastes were exhibited by the strangers, and according to their fancies did they
                        indulge to the full in the enjoyments unsparingly provided on every hand. The King of Prussia, one of the quietest of them all, was
                        especially captivated with the excellence of a national fare which, perhaps, never acquired
                        such royal approval before. The gentleman appointed to be his principal attendant, and see
                        that all his wants and wishes were supplied in St. James’s Palace, where he was
                        lodged, told me that his Majesty made the poorest possible figure at the gorgeous dinners
                        at Carlton House, because he had lunched heartily before on what he liked much better than
                        even the Prince Regent’s exquisite cuisine and
                        cellar, viz., fine Cheshire cheese and Burton ale. On these daily did the King luxuriate;
                        and my informant used jocularly to say, that if ever he went to Berlin he would take a
                        gigantic Cheshire and a cask of Burton with him, and he had no doubt but the highest
                        preferments in the kingdom would be open to his ambition. 
    
     As after a storm in the realms of nature there is ever a partial
                        convulsive motion left, a rising and a fall in the lately vexed sea, and traces of the
                        hurricane upon the earth; so after the pacification, did a succession of events still
                        agitate the public mind, and afford themes of no slight difficulty to the pen of the public
                        writer. The death of the Ex-Empress Josephine cast a
                        shadow over many sensitive hearts; for though her husband could not exclaim with Macbeth, “She should have died hereafter;”
                        as, in truth, both for his sake and her own, she should have died before; yet her amiable
                        character, and patient endurance of her unhappy lot, had endeared her much to all who had
                        an opportunity of observing her life and conversation; and as her political sacrifice had
                        been pitied, so was her death ![]()
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 regretted by a multitude of sympathising
                        admirers, on the banks of the Thames as well as on the Seine, between which rivers,
                        by-the-by, her love of botanical pursuits had kept up an intercourse when all the rest of
                        Europe was hermetically sealed against English enterprise. 
    
     The great Peace Jubilee, with the bridges and pagodas in St.
                        James’s Park, the fleet on the Serpentine, and the symbols, tumults, and rejoicings
                        everywhere, was another of the fruitful topics of the time. Its converse, on the opposite
                        and painful side, was to be found in the party intrigues and disgraceful disputes about the
                            Princess of Wales, and her consequent departure
                        from this country. But upon this subject I have matters, as I venture to presume, of
                        peculiar interest to relate, and which I cannot conveniently weave into nay narrative, so
                        near the close of the volume; I shall, therefore, at the latest hour, beg for an allowance
                        of time and credit, till my next tome appears, for their revelation. Mr. Canning’s Lisbon mission will, then, also demand
                        my illustration; and, in the meanwhile, not inconsistently with the literary and
                        miscellaneous character of my autobiography, I offer as a reward for granting me this boon,
                        and to enrich these concluding pages with a production that cannot fail to charm every
                        reader of taste and intelligence where the English tongue is spoken, an unpublished work of
                        my late lamented friend, Thomas Hood, whose memory
                        will stand on a higher pinnacle with posterity for his serious and pathetic writings than
                        even for those quaint and facetious performances by which he contributed so largely to the
                        harmless mirth of his age, and in which he was unrivalled.* Hook, also, has I believe left a drama in manuscript, but where I cannot
                        say, unless it may be among Mr. Bentley’s
                        stores of dead and sleeping authorship. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     POSTSCRIPT. 
    
    
      London, 16th April, 1852.
    
    
     By looking back to the date of my birth it will be seen that on this my
                        birth-day, I finish the task of my first volume, having just received the printers’
                        welcome intimation that there is copy enough in hand to complete the announced quantity.
                        But I am yet more anxious about the quality; and would fain move an a priori arrest of
                        judgment for any errors or inaccuracies which may have escaped me in the haste of
                        composition. I had, apparently, sufficient time for my work, but private circumstances, of
                        no concern to readers, occurred to break hurtfully into it, and on coming to consult data
                        which I had presumed could be readily found and accessible, I discovered that the materials
                        of from forty to fifty years ago were dissipated, no one knew whither! I was thus thrown
                        for the nonce into more difficult labours, with less opportunity for the exact verification
                        of particulars; and it is for any omission and imperfections in respect to these, that I
                        venture to seek the candour of the critic and the indulgence of the public. 
    
      W. J.
    
    
    
    
    Richard Bentley  (1794-1871)  
                  London bookseller who in 1819 partnered with his brother Samuel (1785-1868) and in 1829
                        formed an unhappy partnership with Henry Colburn that was dissolved in 1832.
               
 
    
    
    George Canning  (1770-1827)  
                  Tory statesman; he was foreign minister (1807-1809) and prime minister (1827); a
                        supporter of Greek independence and Catholic emancipation.
               
 
    Queen Caroline of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel  (1768-1821)  
                  Married the Prince of Wales in 1795 and separated in 1796; her husband instituted
                        unsuccessful divorce proceedings in 1820 when she refused to surrender her rights as
                        queen.
               
 
    Grand Duchess Catherine Pavlovna of Russia  (1788-1819)  
                  The daughter of Tsar Paul of Russia, she married in 1809 Duke George of Oldenburg; and
                        after his death, she married in 1816 Prince William of Württemberg, whom she met in
                        England.
               
 
    Princess Charlotte Augusta  (1796-1817)  
                  The only child of George IV; she married Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg in 1816 and died
                        in childbirth the following year.
               
 
    Mary Anne Clermont  (d. 1850)  
                  Lady Byron's governess and companion, who Byron accused of poisoning his marriage.
               
 
    Samuel Taylor Coleridge  (1772-1834)  
                  English poet and philosopher who projected 
Lyrical Ballads (1798)
                        with William Wordsworth; author of 
Biographia Literaria (1817), 
On the Constitution of the Church and State (1829) and other
                        works.
               
 
    Lord Adolphus Fitzclarence  (1802-1856)  
                  The illegitimate son of William, duke of Clarence and Dorothy Jordan; he served as a
                        naval officer and held court offices.
               
 
    Frederick William III of Prussia  (1770-1840)  
                  King of Prussia from 1797 to 1840; he refused to institute constitutional government
                        following the Congress of Vienna.
               
 
    Sir Francis Freeling, first baronet  (1764-1836)  
                  Postal reformer and member of the Roxburghe Club; he was secretary to the General Post
                        Office. He was a friend of William Jerdan and Sir Walter Scott.
               
 
    
    
    Thomas Hood  (1799-1845)  
                  English poet and humorist who wrote for the 
London Magazine; he
                        published 
Whims and Oddities (1826) and 
Hood's
                            Magazine (1844-5).
               
 
    Theodore Edward Hook  (1788-1841)  
                  English novelist, wit, and friend of the Prince of Wales; he edited the 
John Bull (1820) and appears as the Lucian Gay of Disraeli's 
Conigsby and as Mr. Wagg in 
Vanity Fair.
                    
                  
                
    Empress Joséphine  (1763-1814)  
                  Consort of Napoleon, whom she married in 1796 after her first husband was guillotined;
                        she was divorced in 1809.
               
 
    Edmund Kean  (1787-1833)  
                  English tragic actor famous for his Shakespearean roles.
               
 
    
    Peter Moore  (1753-1828)  
                  Whig MP for Coventry (1803-26) and friend of Richard Brinsley Sheridan. He served with
                        Byron on the Drury-Lane steering committee.
               
 
    Horatio Nelson, viscount Nelson  (1758-1805)  
                  Britain's naval hero who destroyed the French fleet in the Battle of the Nile (1798) and
                        defeated the combined French and Spanish fleets at Trafalgar (1805) in which action he was
                        killed.
               
 
    George Pelham, bishop of Exeter  (1766-1827)  
                  After tutoring by the poet James Hurdis he was educated at Clare College, Cambridge; a
                        friend of the Prince Regent, he was bishop of Bristol (1803), Exeter (1807), and Lincoln
                        (1820).
               
 
    Jean-Gabriel Peltier  (1760-1825)  
                  French counter-revolutionary journalist who for many years lived in exile in
                        Britain.
               
 
    Matvei Platov  (1757-1818)  
                  Russian general who commanded the Don Cossacks in the Napoleonic wars.
               
 
    William Rutherford  (1746 c.-1820)  
                  Scottish schoolmaster and classical scholar; he was pastor and master of the dissenting
                        academy at Uxbridge (1769-89), afterwards assistant minister of Kelso (1795).
               
 
    Richard Brinsley Sheridan  (1751-1816)  
                  Anglo-Irish playwright, author of 
The School for Scandal (1777),
                        Whig MP and ally of Charles James Fox (1780-1812).
               
 
    Joanna Southcott  (1750-1814)  
                  English prophet and visionary, originally the daughter of a Devonshire farmer.
               
 
    Robert Southey  (1774-1843)  
                  Poet laureate and man of letters whose contemporary reputation depended upon his prose
                        works, among them the 
Life of Nelson, 2 vols (1813), 
History of the Peninsular War, 3 vols (1823-32) and 
The Doctor, 7 vols (1834-47).
               
 
    Samuel Whitbread  (1764-1815)  
                  The son of the brewer Samuel Whitbread (1720-96); he was a Whig MP for Bedford, involved
                        with the reorganization of Drury Lane after the fire of 1809; its financial difficulties
                        led him to suicide.
               
 
    
    William II, king of the Netherlands  (1792-1849)  
                  Educated at Oxford, he was aide-de-camp to the Duke of Wellington (1811), was briefly
                        engaged to Princess Charlotte, and succeeded his father in 1840.
               
 
    
                  The Sun.    (1792-1876). A Tory evening paper edited by John Heriot (1792-1806), Robert Clark (1806-07), William
                        Jerdan (1813-17). The poets John Taylor and William Frederick Deacon were also associated
                        with 
The Sun.